


collide the spaces that divide us

by noirheart (Flumes)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 3racha debuted as a trio, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Idols, JYP Nation - Freeform, M/M, Rival Relationship, the other six debuted as an idol group
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-11-26 00:17:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 38,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20921033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flumes/pseuds/noirheart
Summary: “Do you ever think,” Changbin begins, brow furrowing. “Do you ever think about if the timing had been different we might have been in the same group?”Seungmin stares at him. The truth is that, yes, in the deepest of nights when he can’t sleep, he rolls from his side to his back and stares at the ceiling, mind racing with alternate realities where maybe he and Changbin train together, the goal of debut in both their sights. Maybe he and Changbin debut together, harnessing that electric energy between them to perform under the flashing lights. Maybe they raise their first trophy together, sharing a look of triumph from across the stage.“Let’s face it, hyung,” he says instead, “we probably would have killed each other.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> yo Seungbin nation where u @?
> 
> In all seriousness, this premise just ran away from me. I genuinely thought this was going to be like 8k lmao...
> 
> The basic idea is that 3racha debuted as hip-hop trio a few years prior to Stray Kids' debut. The other six members debuted as an idol group called Sixmix (yep, I stole that from Twice's original name) and there's a narrative pushed by the media that the groups are rivals despite being on the same label and making different styles of music.
> 
> There's also a survival show featured in the fic which is basically supposed to be a sequel of the show that formed Twice, except this time they're forming Itzy, called Eighteen instead of Sixteen.

“I don’t really know, hyung. Am I really good enough for something like that? Woojin is our group’s main vocal. He has a lot more experience than me.”

Seungmin’s manager just smiles at him. “It was you that JYP recommended. You won over a lot of fans during your time on ASC so it makes sense to put you onto another show. Since Sixmix are on a break right now, you’ll have time. It’s only a few weeks of filming but I’ll support you if you would rather rest.”

Seungmin considers it for a moment. In truth, he has been looking forward to some rare relaxation time but he really can’t afford to miss a chance to promote his group. Not when they’re starting to gain recognition for their stable live vocals and heartfelt songs. ASC is still a sore point for him. He knows some k-netizens think he just gave up, too young and inexperienced to handle the limelight. With Sixmix’s gruelling schedule Seungmin had just wanted to give his group’s promotions his full attention but he can’t help but wonder if he should have pushed himself harder.

“I’ll do it.”

“You’re sure?”

Seungmin isn’t, hands burying in the fabric of his hoodie, but he also knows it’s the only choice he can make. “I want to do it.”

“Okay, I’ll make preparations.”

And just like that, vocalist of JYP’s rookie group Sixmix becomes a vocal trainer on the new survival show to make JYP’s new girl group.

*

**JYP Rookie Group Mishap**

_Thursday 5 April 2018_

On 25 March 2018, JYP’s new boy group Sixmix debuted with their first single _Your Tempo_to eager anticipation since potential members were first spotted by eagle-eyed fans six months ago. They are the first boy group to debut under the label since hip-hop trio 3racha debuted in 2016. Their single, which features a mixture of pop and R&B sounds, assuaged the fears of 3racha fans who were concerned that it was too soon for a new group to be debuting.

However the new group ran into trouble on their debut stage at M!Countdown when leader and main vocalist Kim Woojin slipped on stage and badly injured himself. After a trip to the hospital it has been confirmed that he has fractured his ankle and will not be able to perform with the group until he recovers. Fans are wishing him a speedy recovery for an injury with some unfortunate timing.

How will this new group fare without their leader and main vocalist?

Comments [13]

**Oncebb<3**

[+37] This is horrible timing! I hope he gets better soon :(

**BangChan99**

[+15] Woojin is the only one that can actually sing live theyre gonna flop

**baekhyunniesgirl**

[+12] A former SM trainee? A song that's called Your Tempo? Could JYP be any more obvious about trying to rip off EXO smh.

*

“Ah,” says Felix, stretching forward to look at the comments on Vlive, “that’s right. Our Seungminnie’s going to be on _Eighteen_, isn’t that right?”

Seungmin pauses from reading the messages on his phone, blinking as he looks up. “That’s right. It’s a new show to find the company’s new girl group.”

“How do you feel about being asked to be a judge?”

There’s a stream of comments wishing him good luck. Seungmin resists pulling his gaze away from the camera. “I’m honoured. Honestly I wasn’t sure if it was something I could do at the beginning… but then I thought that if I could help the other trainees with my experience then it would be worthwhile.”

“_You can do it, Seungmin!_” reads Felix, eyes crinkling. “It’s going to be exciting, isn’t it? Please support our Seungmin on the show!”

Seungmin claps his hands together and dips his head, smiling for his fans. “It would mean so much!”

“We love our 6ixes,” Felix finishes off, waving finger hearts to the camera. “We’ll see you soon!”

With that they end the broadcast and Seungmin slumps back into his seat, nerves rattling around in his gut. He’s seen the comments – mostly positive, yes – but some are complaining that he doesn’t have enough experience to be judging anyone. Seungmin is thinking maybe they’re right.

“Do you think that was enough promotion?”

“I think Manager-hyung will be happy,” he replies.

“Hey, you know you’re going to rock this, right?” Felix pumps his fist in the air and Seungmin laughs.

“Thanks. I know it’s going to be fine. I just can’t help but think Woojin would have done a better job with guiding the trainees’ vocals.”

“You have so much experience. Besides,” Felix leans in with a grin, “your English is much better.”

Seungmin laughs, feeling some of his tension ease. He’s going to be fine; he just can’t help the nerves. This is an important moment for him to promote the group so he knows he can’t afford to mess up now. Not after how much has gone wrong for them already.

*

**JYPE Announces New Survival Show**

_Monday 16 April 2019_

Following on from the successful show _Sixteen_ that formed the JYP girl group Twice in 2015, JYP has announced the new survival show _Eighteen_ which will follow the same format to decide on the members of their new group. Potential participants include Lee Chaeryoung, who also participated in Sixteen, and Shin Ryujin, who came first place on the YG show _Mixnine_, both girls notable for their dance skills.

Guest judges include Twice’s Momo as a dance instructor, 3racha’s Changbin as a rap trainer and Sixmix’s Seungmin in vocals to help polish the skills of the participants.

Read More

Comments [48]

**DanceGodMomo**

[+74] yes!!!! queen momo gracing our screens!!

**kpopfan96**

[+63] sorry but who even is seungmin and what experience does he have to be trainer

**strawberrylaces**

[+49] Does anyone know if Somi is confirmed for the show?

*

The first day of filming feels surreal. Seungmin isn’t used to going places by himself, the car too quiet when it’s only occupied by him and his manager; no Felix, Woojin or Jeongin to fill the space with chatter and noise. It makes him retreat into himself, thinking through all the things his vocal trainer taught him when he was still a trainee and mouthing over them as if he can make the words his. It’s important that he represents the whole group well here. Sixteen was a popular show, and with the JYP name the brand that it is, he’s willing to bet Eighteen will be no different.

“Ah, Seungmin,” says one of the producers that he vaguely recognises from around the company, “come and meet the other judges on the panel. This is Twice’s Momo, who will be there to judge the trainees’ dancing abilities.”

Seungmin bows at Momo and she giggles, bowing in return with a wide smile. He’s met the girls of Twice many times around JYP; they were the first to congratulate him upon Sixmix’s debut. Sometimes it still makes him reel, to know that someone as vibrant and much loved as Momo knows who he is, greeting him warmly as if they’re long time friends and she’s not the mega celebrity that she is.

He swallows around the lump in his throat, forcing down the nerves. Sixmix have been making progress. They’ve shown solid growth in their first year in terms of sales and brand reputation. It’s not like they’re completely unknown to the public. He just needs to remember that he belongs here as much as anyone else.

The producer taps another man on the shoulder and he turns, an indolent expression on his features. “And this is Changbin, from 3racha, who will be responsible for judging the trainees’ rap skills.” Changbin nods with a grunt, posture as slouched as the beanie atop his head, and Seungmin feels his stomach drop.

3racha are one of the biggest groups under the JYP label, bursting onto the scene a few years prior with an explosive rock and hip-hop fusion track that was so unlike anything else in the industry that it shook up the charts. With their knife point choreography and powerful stage performances, they have as much popularity internationally as they do in Korea, if not even more.

Changbin certainly looks like someone who knows he’s a star, barely sparing Seungmin a glance before he’s stalking off, leaving Seungmin to shift his weight and hold his arm, the atmosphere suddenly stifling. The panic is back again. He’s not good enough. He’s sharing a panel with Momo and Changbin, for god’s sake. The public are going to lambaste him; point him out for the imposter he is.

He barely hears the producer when he says, “So, are you ready to get started?”

*

**Tension Between JYP Rivals?**

_Tuesday 22 May 2018_

It’s no secret that there has been tension between fans of JYP hip-hop trio 3racha and the rookie group Sixmix ever since the rumoured leak that claimed 3racha’s comeback was delayed in favour of pushing out Sixmix’s debut single _Your Tempo_. Although these rumours remain unconfirmed, fans have been fanning the flames over Twitter and Naver, resulting in the hashtags #3rachacomeback and #6mixdefencesquad trending in the past week.

When asked, main rapper Changbin stated, “When you look at it there’s no comparison. We’ve always been out here doing our own thing. We’re different from idol groups who have their songs handed to them and then go out and parrot them back on the stage. Every one of our songs was written by the three of us and we put our heart and soul into the music and lyrics, which is how we’ve been fortunate enough to gain the fans that we have.”

Rapper and vocalist Han added, “We don’t try to follow trends. We set the trends. Fans don’t need to worry – we’ll still be out there doing our own thing regardless of what other groups are doing. Maybe some groups are more marketable but we care about the authenticity of our music.”

Comments [214]

**SpeerB**

[+315] the writer is so biased trying to make 3racha look like theyre dragging sixmix when theyre simply stating facts

**Mixitup**

[+47] Sorry, but have you seen the interview? This was a direct response to a question about the ‘rivalry’ This was a pretty obvious dig at

Sixmix.

**YoungK01**

[+21] they’ve got a point tho sixmix are a carbon copy of got7

**Namomo**

[+224] why is everyone going after 6mix like it’s their job they literally just debuted

** LeeKnowFan93**

[+56] theyre just jealous because they no SM will blow up

**BangChan99**

[+14] lol keep dreaming

*

It’s a whirlwind of pre-show interviews and preparations that Seungmin is ushered to one after the other. For most of them he sits in a room on his own with the _Eighteen_ logo in the background as an interviewer asking him questions about his own background and how he thinks he will be able to help the young trainees. Barely any of this will survive the brutal editing process these shows always go through but Seungmin still takes the time to answer as thoughtfully as possible anyway.

“I’ve been there and I know what it’s like, having your dream be so close you can almost touch it. If I can help in any way I want to be able to.”

The producer behind the camera reads her questions off a cue card. “A lot of people have been commenting that you’re just a rookie yourself. Sixmix only debuted last year. What do you think about that?”

Seungmin’s stomach lurches, feeling the urge to look down. He doesn’t. Some of the anxiety shifts, morphing into a fire in his belly. He was asked to come on this show; he didn’t just barge his way in. And besides, of everyone in the panel, he’s the one who remembers all too painfully what that experience was like. If he can be the mentor that develops their budding skills because he can appreciate a diamond in the rough, then he_ wants_ to be here. He wants to show another dimension of himself. To prove that Sixmix are more than just a rookie group that gained some traction because of the JYP label.

“I would say those people haven’t given me a chance to prove that I deserve to be here. I’ve been where those trainees are not that long ago and I can connect with them through that experience. I want to share all that I’ve learned through performing.” He pauses, watching her face. “Besides, JYP chose me, you know? So I think I understand what he’s looking for.”

Seungmin ends with a small smile for the camera, showing that he’s unfazed by the comments. If Park Jinyoung wants him on his damn show, Seungmin’s going to be on the damn show.

*

They set up a fancy set piece on one side of the stage for the judges, the blue strip lighting giving it a touch of class. Seeing the _Eighteen_ logo next to the JYP logo feels strange. Somehow it has completely transformed the feel of the venue where he used to attend showcases, back in those desperate days when he dreamed of what a real music show stage would feel like. There’s this eerie sense of coming back to where he started, only now he gets to take his place in the judge’s seat, at the far left of the stage.

Seungmin doesn’t know what to do when Changbin silently drops down beside him, hair tucked into a black baseball cap this time, eyes drawn down on the files in front of him. They have been given packs of information on all the trainees but Seungmin has already done his reading in between dance and vocal practice so he can spare the time to glance at Changbin from the corner of his eye. It’s strange to think they’re part of the same company when Changbin feels like such a celebrity compared to Seungmin. 3racha have only just finished up a global tour across North and South America which seems like an unreachable dream for Sixmix.

Still, they’re here for the same reason, on equal playing grounds, so if Changbin wants to act like he’s better that’s fine. It’s not like Seungmin cares. He’s only here for his members, because he wants to earn the group a better reputation than they’ve been getting.

Once Park Jinyoung and Momo find their seats, the producer gives them a quick rundown of how it’s going to go. The first day is for auditions, with the judges deciding which grade to give the girls between A, B and C. It’s a bit ruthless, given they’re only allowed a three minute song to prove their skills, but he supposes that’s the point of the show.

JYP looks left and right at his panel, checking to make sure they’re all ready, their hair and make up styled for the cameras. “Alright, let’s begin now.” The theme music blares and the lights dim in preparation for the first girl to come out.

They’re all so _young_. That’s the first thing that hits Seungmin, remembering when he was that fresh faced and new. He’s not exactly old now, except for when he feels the wear and tear of constant practice rattling his bones, or when Felix jokes about how he’s really a grandpa in the body of a boy. Even so, it makes him gasp a little as each girl comes up to the stage, cheeks still full with baby fat and eyes sparkling with the eagerness of youth.

Regardless of their age, the rest of the panel do not hesitate to dive into the girls’ performances, commenting on everything from expression, to balance, to charisma, to technique. The stage lights radiate so much heat that Seungmin begins to sweat, and he curses the sweatshirt the stylish put him in. It’s difficult to concentrate and the first three girls have all been more focused on showing rap or dance which is not something he can comment on as easily. Seungmin is beginning to feel the pressure and he’s not even the one being judged.

“You have no feel for the song,” drones Changbin into the mic. There’s something flat in his expression, slouched as if he’s bored. It makes Seungmin prickle. Unrefined these girls might be but they don’t deserve that disrespect.

“It’s like you’re not hearing the rhythm at all. I suggest you go back and listen to the song properly first. Focus on the beats of the song and emphasise the most important points.” Suddenly Changbin starts rapping, stringing together a few lines out of nowhere that follow the same rhythm as the song. Seungmin can’t deny how cool he looks, trying not to gape like the awestruck girl on stage.

“You need to work on what words you want to stress because right now you sound very monotone and it’s boring to listen to.”

The girl’s expression falls and something tugs at Seungmin’s gut. He’s been there one too many times, being scolded for not hitting a note properly, or straining his voice too much, or his dancing not being sharp enough compared to the rest of his members.

“This is advice to take on board for next time,” Changbin finishes. “I’ll look forward to seeing how you improve on your next stage.”

The girl bows, thanks them, and then she jogs off, clearly unable to get off the stage quick enough. Seungmin jots down a few minor notes for later, when they’ll get together to discuss what categories the girls should be sorted into.

The next girl to come in looks even younger than the last, so tiny on the stage with wide cheeks when she smiles. She greets them warmly but Seungmin can recognise the signs of nerves from the way her hands grip her mic, tapping her toe as if to alleviate some of the tension. It must be intimidating, staring them down from under the stage lights, Park Jinyoung’s discerning stare giving nothing away as he asks her a few questions about herself. Seungmin is relieved to finally find a vocalist.

The music starts for Twice’s _Ooh-Ahh_ and the girl sings brightly into the mic as she dances, all clean, sharp lines that Minho or Hyunjin would appreciate more than Seungmin does beyond knowing what looks good on stage. Her voice is clear, and while it’s a little breathy, she’s dancing and singing without the help of backing vocals or group members to balance her out. He can tell she’s well trained, probably one of the girls that’s been training for longer under the label’s rigorous regimen, but she’s got a bad habit than niggles at him as he keeps his eyes peeled on her every movement. If she would only stop it Seungmin things she could be a worthy vocalist of any group.

When she finishes the song she performs another bow and awaits her verdict, chest heaving with the exertion of her dance. Momo begins before Seungmin can pick up his own mic, still hesitant to speak up. “Your dance lines are very clean. I can tell you practised a lot.” The girl grins, teeth shining white. She’s cute. “You bring a lot of energy to the stage which I really enjoyed but I think you look a little bit like you’re still thinking of the moves. The song needs to guide you more than the counts, otherwise you won’t be able to connect with the audience. But otherwise good job, I enjoyed it.”

Park Jinyoung makes a few comments, Changbin remaining silent. When it seems like everyone has said their piece, Seungmin picks up his mic. “I think you have a very stable singing voice which is very impressive for your age,” he says, aware of the way all heads and cameras turn to him. He hopes he’s not shining too much with sweat. “But you have a habit of trailing off towards the end of a line and it feels like you’re losing power.” Seungmin sings a line of the song in her style. “You should do it so that the note goes up at the end like this.” He repeats it the way it should be expressed. “Do you see the difference?”

The girl nods sharply, eyes wide. He feels a little guilty for causing her smile to drop but he doesn’t mean it in a harsh way. He sees a budding performer with lots of potential in front of him and he wants to help her reach it. “It’s something to practice for next time.”

Once she has left the stage and they wait for the next performer Seungmin feels eyes on him and turns to see Changbin appraising him from beneath the rim of his cap. Seungmin raises his brows and Changbin turns away, looking back down at his sheet. Confused by the interaction, Seungmin does the same.

*

Sitting through eighteen auditions takes hours and by the end of it Seungmin feels exhausted, worn out by the heat of the room and the constant awareness of the cameras, his voice hoarse from giving out feedback in a way that he hopes comes across as measured and insightful and not like some big headed rookie who thinks a couple of mini albums make him a hotshot.

After they’ve seen all the girls they gather around with their photocards, discussing the merits of each of them in turn. It seems harsh, the way these shows pit these young trainees against one another, criticising every aspect of them from performance to looks, but Seungmin supposes that’s just the industry in a nutshell.

“She was definitely the ace of the team,” says JYP, sliding a picture into the A category.

Momo slides another picture over. “I liked her energy a lot. I think she has the potential to go far.”

Park Jinyoung frowns. “Her vocals still need some work. It’s not enough to just be pretty. You need to be able to sound good on live stages and she’s still unstable.”

“Agreed,” says Changbin. “I think she can be put into B but she’s no A.”

Seungmin feels a little lost in the conversation, the pictures flying into different piles too quickly for him to keep up. The poor girls are picked apart for every little thing they did and Seungmin has no doubt the editing team will highlight aspects of their performance based on this very discussion.

“Honestly she had no stage presence,” says Changbin about another girl. “Her expressions weren’t good.”

Seungmin leans over before he can stop himself. “But her live vocals were so stable. I would say her technique was the best of all the girls. She projects her voice well.”

“An idol should still be able to perform.”

“I’m not saying she shouldn’t but expressions can be learned more easily than vocal talent like hers. It would be unfair to put her into C just for that.”

Changbin tilts his head, eyes raking over him once again. Seungmin fights the urge to look away, fists clenched at his sides. After a long moment of staring at him, Changbin breaks gaze first and Seungmin feels the tension drain away, shoulders easing when he takes the picture and slides it into B. He looks back again with an arched brow and Seungmin just nods.

By the time they finish filming it’s nearly midnight and Seungmin is drained, fighting back a yawn. He doesn’t bother with more than a polite bow before he’s slipping away, grateful for his manager waiting dutifully to pick him up. The quiet ride back to his dorm is quick with all the thoughts rattling inside his head but he’s so worn out from the pressure of filming that he blacks out the instant his head hits his pillow, tumultuous feelings falling away in an instant.

*

**First Episode of New JYP Survival Show Eighteen to Debut Next Week**

_Friday 14 June 2019_

The first episode of JYP’s new survival show _Eighteen_ will air on Tuesday 18 June at 8pm KST. Check out the profiles of the eighteen contestants looking out to make the finale line up of the new JYP girl group below. Who are you rooting for?

Comments [26]

**BunnyNayeon**

[+77] I don’t know if I like the idea of a new girl group already what if it’s just an excuse to bump Twice now that they’re getting older

**jypfan98**

[+34] it’s been 4 years? What is it with fans feeling so threatened by new groups debuting? is it a jyp thing?

**YoungK01**

[+21] why does everyone have to make this about the 3racha/sixmix thing all the time

**Heemin**

[+18] JYP are notorious for dropping groups as soon as a new one debuts just look at 3racha’s comeback being dropped for 6mix

*

Between filming Seungmin still practices with the rest of his members. There’s a segment of their choreography that he just can’t manage to get down so Minho volunteers to stay behind with him, walking him through the steps until he finally manages to get his head around the order of the movements. By the time they’re done for the night he’s damp with sweat and breathing hard, limbs shaky with how much he’s put into practice.

“Thanks, hyung,” he says quietly, wiping sweat from his eyes. “I didn’t think I was ever going to get it.”

Minho ruffles his hair, glowing with the praise. “You’re not half as bad a dancer as you think you are, you know,” he says, holding the door open for him as they exit the company building to head back to the dorm.

“Minho-hyung! Minho-hyung!”

They both turn to see a boy in an oversized flannel sprinting towards them. He skids to a stop in front of them, eyes shining in the street lights as he sucks in soft puffs of breath. “Didn’t I tell you to wait up for me?” he says to Minho. “You promised we would get ramyeon together.” When he pouts his cheeks fill up and it’s kind of cute. Seungmin wonders if he’s a trainee that Minho has managed to befriend.

But then he whips around with wide eyes as if only realising that Seungmin is there and the orange glow of the street light catches his face. “I’m Han Jisung, of 3racha. Nice to meet you!” he says with a bow.

Seungmin repeats the gesture. “Kim Seungmin, from Sixmix.”

“Oh! You’re the one doing the show with Changbin!”

Seungmin tries not to visibly stiffen. “Uh, yeah. I am.”

“Seungmin was really nervous for his first day of filming, weren’t you?” teases Minho, diverting attention away from his awkwardness.

“A little.”

Jisung blinks. “Oh, really? Changbin said you were really good so it must not have showed.”

“He did?”

But Seungmin’s shock is lost on Minho and Jisung who have drifted towards one another. “I’ll treat you to ramyeon soon, okay?” Minho reaches out to ruffle Jisung’s hair who backs up out of the way and shakes his head playfully.

“You brat! You have no respect for your elders!”

“Ah, but I’m your sunbaenim!”

Minho lunges for him and Jisung darts away giggling, the sound ringing out in the quiet of the early morning when even Seoul takes a few hours of rest. The two of them bicker for a few minutes before they part ways with more promises to meet up when their schedules will allow.

Minho jogs back to Seungmin with a sheepish grin on his face. “Sorry about that. He gets a bit much sometimes.”

Seungmin doesn’t say anything, simply raising his brows in a way that makes Minho roll his eyes. The quiet is nice, the two of them walking side by side back to the dorms with the cool night air drying the sweat on the back of his neck. Even at this time cars still pass by, lights briefly illuminating them before they’re gone again, the rumble of engines part of the pleasant hum of the city at large.

“It’s not what you think,” Minho suddenly blurts.

“What do I think?” he replies, looking up to a cloudy sky. He wonders what the stars look like, beyond the layer of industrial smog.

“You made that face at me.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“_You know._ The judge-y one. When you’re being judgemental.”

“I was just surprised that you know Han of 3racha.”

It’s Minho’s turn to look at him, quick to divert his appraisal back on him. “They are in the same company as us, you know. If you got out and interacted more maybe you wouldn’t be so awkward around Changbin.”

“I’m not awkward.”

“You literally called him a rude prick in between learning choreography. You said he was full of himself and that the fame had swollen his head up.”

Seungmin looked at the pavement. “I didn’t mean it like _that._”

The grin is evident in Minho’s voice. “Didn’t you?”

When he doesn’t reply, Minho laughs softly, his breath pluming into the air. “Jisung says Changbin is really sweet once you get to know him. Maybe you should give him a chance.”

Seungmin resents the implication that _he’s _the one being judgemental in this situation but he also can’t deny that he has a tendency to form an opinion quickly of people. It’s just that people seldom prove him wrong. He can’t help it if he is able to read cues better than most, even if it does mean he misses out on those who are more layered than he anticipates. Still, Changbin hasn’t given Seungmin reason to see him any differently than an asshole who thinks he’s better than everyone because he’s produced a few hit songs.

“Are you just saying this because you want to hang out with Jisung more?”

“No!” Minho knocks into his shoulder. “I was trying to help you, you asshole!”

Seungmin laughs him off but he can’t deny that Minho has a point. Maybe Changbin has been stiff and cold with him but maybe Seungmin hasn’t been much better. Still, those comments he made at their debut are hard to shake, even if he does want to be the better person.

*

**First Episode of Eighteen Debuts to Star Ratings**

_Wednesday 19 June 2019_

It looks like the new JYP survival show _Eighteen_ is set to be even more popular than it’s predecessor _Sixteen_, with a record-breaking number tuning in for the pilot episode last night. Click to read more.

Comments [89]

**HanaMi**

[+102] I swear if Yeji doesn’t debut JYP is gonna catch these hands

**godjihyo97**

[+48] same!! she’s so good omg

**SpeerB**

[+39] *fans self* changbin is super hot when he’s dragging people

**Sixmixdefencesquad**

[+17] my bby seungmin was os quiet nd shy but he came across rlly well! i’m proud

*

The next round of the competition involves splitting the girls into their classes so they can learn the title theme for the show, with the chance to move up or down a group depending on how they perform. JYP promises the winning team that they will be able to perform on M Countdown, a massive prize for any budding idol desperate to get their name out there. Seungmin and the other judges are told they aren’t needed for this round and he’s relieved, in need of the rest. There’s been talk of a comeback and the group are gearing up in preparation already.

It’s not until a few weeks later that he’s needed for the group cover battle, with the girls being assigned to different senior artists to make their own stage. Once the girls are split into their groups and they’ve had time to practice their songs, Seungmin is invited in to observe their progress and help them with their vocals. What he isn’t told is that Changbin will also be there to help the girls who will be rapping, stopping short as he walks into the familiar company practice room to find Changbin’s intense gaze meeting his in the mirror. He doesn’t say anything.

Maybe that’s the weirdest part of it. Seungmin is so used to living with his bouncy, excitable, extroverted members that he’s never needed to be the one to initiate conversation so he’s not sure what he’s supposed to do in this situation. He can’t exactly ignore Changbin as much as he’d like to – not when there are cameras and mirrors surrounding him – he’d be crucified by the public in an instant for not worshipping the ground his ‘sunbaenim’ walks on.

So in his own style he simply nods in greeting and drops into a seat next to him, waving to the girls all sitting crossed legged on the floor, some biting their lips and others fanning their faces damp with sweat, cheeks rosy with the exertion. They all greet him with sweet voices and he still finds himself taken aback by their enthusiasm considering he’s practically a rookie himself. He knows they need to do it for the cameras as much as he needs to do it to Changbin and it makes him uneasy for reasons he doesn’t have time to dwell on.

“I hope you’ve all been practising hard,” he says.

The girls all nod eagerly, a few paling. They’re all so damn young.

Seungmin looks at Changbin, who leans forward in his chair. In response the girls all freeze, rapt with his every movement. This is the power of a huge star, Seungmin supposes.

“Let’s put your hard work to the test, then,” says Changbin. “We’ll see how well you can sing and dance at the same time.”

Seungmin blinks. He had been expecting to judge them solely on their singing. Making them dance at the same time is so much harder but he can’t deny it’s a fair test of what an idol needs to be able to do so he sits back as the music begins to play, the familiar drum beat of Sunmi’s _Full Moon_ making him tap his foot on the floor.

The girls switch almost instantly, their expressions darkening into Sunmi’s sultry stare as they dance to the distinctive choreography that skyrocketed her solo career. Their voices are bright and clear, stable for trainees, but then again JYP didn’t become one of the top agencies for nothing. Seungmin follows each girl as she takes her turn in the centre, drawn to two in particular who move so sharply they almost embody Sunmi’s fierce energy, their voices stable despite their movements.

But even so there are still plenty of mistakes; pieces where someone falls out of rhythm or a voice cracks, and a few bumps into one another because they haven’t got their formations down, and he makes note of both the good and bad in their performance. It’s a hard song for them. Because they’re young they struggle with capturing the sensuality of the song, many of them not quite able to match their expressions and movements. Overall it needs a lot of work to get to where they need to be but he sees the potential in their group. He likes their energy.

The music fades out and the girls stand there, chests heaving with heavy breaths, their hair plastered to their foreheads with the sweat. For a long beat no one says anything, the tension wobbling on a knife edge, and then Changbin lets out a drawn out, “_Aaah,_” shaking his head.

Seungmin sees the moment their faces fall, Changbin planting his hands on his thighs. “Where’s the passion?” When they say nothing, he speaks again. “You know this song is supposed to be you luring the audience in, right? You can’t just sing as if you’re trying to remember the words.”

Seungmin schools his face. As much as he wants to argue on principle, Changbin isn’t exactly wrong. He sympathises with the reason why – obviously the girls haven’t had much time to practice – but he also knows it’s solid advice. He used to hear the same criticisms in the beginning and it’s only through them he became a better singer.

“And when you’re rapping you need to enunciate your words. It’s not enough to talk fast and slur as if you’re drunk.”

The girl who rapped cringes, looking to the floor.

“Hey,” says Changbin, softer now. “This isn’t about picking on you. This is about me using my experience to point out what you need to be doing better if you really want to debut. You want an easy debut?” He points to the door. “Go to any small agency where they’ll be happy to take a JYP reject. Do you think you will be as famous?”

A few shake their heads imperceptibly, looking pale.

“When you rap you need to think about how you express your words. Take some time out and practice your diction slowly before you try to do it fast. It will help you in the long run.”

When silence falls Seungmin realises it’s his cue. He doesn’t want to pick on the girls when they look so deflated so he tries to be delicate, wishing they had just asked Woojin to do this instead. Delicate has never been Seungmin’s area of expertise.

“I think you did well with breath control. You all sound quite stable when you sing but you need to be careful that you’re not being too quiet. When the music is loud a few of you can hardly be heard and that’s not going to cut it on a live stage. It’s important that your voice comes from your core,” he says, placing a hand over his abdomen. “Don’t be afraid of voice cracks – even experienced idols get them – but you need to really project your voices otherwise no one is going to hear you. You really aren’t ready to debut if you continue to sing like that.”

To his surprise Changbin nods. “Yeah, you should practice with your audience in mind. Really express the song and push your voice out from down here.” He mimics Seungmin’s gesture.

After some more points about both the singing and the rapping, Seungmin rises with Changbin on his heels and exits the room, exhaling deeply. His palms are damp and he realises he had been as nervous as the girls in there. It’s really hard to be on that side of the room, knowing how it feels to stand there and hear that you still have so much more work to do after pouring in your blood, sweat and tears. It’s even harder to be the one to say it.

Changbin hovers outside the room, stealing glances at him. Tired of it all, Seungmin stops short and meets his gaze. “What is it?” he says, too quiet for the cameras to pick up.

Chanbin’s eyebrows rise. “Nothing. Just, you know, didn’t expect sweet angel-faced Seungmin to be harsher than the prince of darkness or whatever it is that they’re calling me these days.”

Seungmin nearly snaps at him, digging his nails into his palms to remind him of the ever watching eyes upon them. “They deserve the truth.”

“Oh, I don’t disagree with you. You gave some good advice back there. I just didn’t expect it, I guess.”

“I know I’m just a rookie but I do know what I’m talking about.”

Changbin nods, a small smile creeping at the corners of his mouth. For some reason this irritates Seungmin. “Yeah, they wouldn’t have debuted you otherwise. Still, you’re so quiet it’s hard to tell. I suppose it’s true what they say.”

“What’s that?”

He’s already halfway to the door when he throws an easy grin over his shoulder. “They always tell you to beware the nice ones.”

The door rattles on its hinges as it swings closed, leaving Seungmin alone in the empty corridor to dwell on Changbin’s words. He’s tense all over, still braced to have to defend himself, and he doesn’t know what to do with all his pent up frustration now that it’s seen no release. More than that, he doesn’t know what to make of how easily Changbin had smiled. How quick he had been to turn criticisms constructive and encourage the upset girls.

Maybe Changbin hasn’t been the only one to underestimate his fellow judge.

*

**Hwang Yeji Leads Polls on Episode Four of ** **Eighteen**

_Wednesday 10 July 2019_

The young contestant has been making waves for her stage presence and sharp dancing skills, as was seen on episode one of the show. However, the popular trainee was sorted into a group that received some heavy criticisms for their practice run of Sunmi’s _Full Moon _from judges Seo Changbin of 3racha and Kim Seungmin of Sixmix. Click here to watch the clips from practice.

Are you excited for next weeks group battle? Let us know your thoughts.

Comments [67]

**HanaMi**

[+111] She’s obviously so much more skilled than the rest of her team and it’s pulling her down

**OnceArmy-L**

[+77] seungmin was way too harsh considering he’s just a rookie himself he’s barely got any stage experience

** bangchan<3**

[+51] omg did you see the way he looked at changbin? he’s so disrespectful to his seniors :/

*

When the day of group evaluations rolls around, Seungmin sluggishly makes his way to the venue where the girls will be performing. His eyes look so dark from lack of sleep that the make up artist _tsks_ and huffs around him, swatting him down with powder whilst another fixes his hair. He’s even more nervous to be judging in front of a live audience, who will be able to vote for their favourite girls to give Park Jinyoung an indication of their popularity. The show is only growing in viewership figures as they rattle on to the final line up reveal and he’s still seeing comments asking why he’s there as a judge.

Not to mention he has spent the last few nights streaming 3racha’s music into the early hours of the morning.

If he’s being honest, Seungmin always dismissed them as a raucous group of hipster rappers, preferring the real live music of Day6 over their yelling into the mic. But with Changbin’s mocking words ringing in his ears, he’d done it almost by accident, typing the name of his group into the search browser on his laptop and clicking the first song to come up. It turns out he had been wrong all along.

Because 3racha’s music is so undeniably raw, their lyrics striking a chord deep inside him. They sing about more than love and heartbreak. They dive into identity and the self; into doubt and anxiety and fears for the future; into challenging the system and fighting back against oppression. Brimming over with so much genuine emotion, Seungmin is struck by how much these three boys have to say, and how poetically they’re able to put those words to music with thrumming beats that claw beneath his skin.

Seungmin is hooked. To their fast-paced, powerful rapping. To their interesting riffs and experimental combination of instruments that beg another listen to really peel back each layer. To their explosive, high octane stages. And like a maelstrom in the middle of it all is the deep, raspy voice spat out with the anger of someone who knows what it feels like to be lost. Who knows what it feels like to chase some distant dream with the ache of knowing it might not work out. Someone who fires himself across the stage like a canonball, fixing the crowd with a stare so dark and impenetrable it makes him shiver through his screen.

Maybe Seungmin stumbles upon a few fancams. Maybe he’s struck by the sheer presence Changbin has on stage, gaze so magnetic before the camera in contrast to his perpetually bored scowl off stage. Maybe he’s reassessing his opinion of the man, bit by bit. Maybe.

Now he’s even more awkward when he sees Changbin backstage, their eyes accidentally locking through the mirror. With a stilted smile he darts away, practically dragging his manager into the corner so they can discuss schedules he already knows by heart. He feels strange, like everything he thought has been tilted on its axis, and yet he doesn’t quite want to admit it to himself. He doesn’t want to concede that he, more often than not the one looked down upon for being part of JYP’s least popular group, has been the one to underestimate someone else. It stings somehow.

It doesn’t change that Changbin’s still an arrogant prick, not even acknowledging him as he drops into his seat next to Seungmin’s on the judging panel. All around them the crowd scream with approval, eager to see celebrities in person even if they are not the ones to perform tonight. They are more famous than the trainees that they’re here to support but Seungmin gets the feeling that won’t be for long.

A wild cheer rises up from the crowd, some girls screaming, and Seungmin tries not to smile as Got7’s Bambam bounces up onto the stage and waves. They scream even louder. Seungmin doesn’t mean to catch Changbin’s eye, the two of them sharing a grin before they realise the situation and look away. Seungmin watches Bambam animatedly introduce the show and the panel of judges for the live audience. He’s a good choice for MC, eyes shining as he makes a joke that gets the crowd laughing and he easily gets them hyped up for the first performance.

The first group to come up and perform are the girls performing Girls Generation’s _Genie_ and they line up on the stage, clutching their mics as they introduce themselves to the crowd and answer Bambam’s questions about their practice and the problems they faced. Seungmin knows that when the episode airs they’ll cut to their training sessions, complete with the criticisms he gave the group on their breath control. He wonders what the public will make of it.

“Yuna looks different on stage,” murmurs Changbin, almost stolen by the screams of the crowd.

Seungmin glances at him, wondering if the comment was directed at him. But he has no time to figure it out. The lights dim and the music bursts from the speakers, the girls arranged in a tight formation as they begin to sing. True to point, Seungmin’s eyes are drawn to the girl whose dancing and expressions are particularly energetic, her skin glowing under the bright stage lights flashing to the beat of the music. Compared to the others, she’s just the tiniest step above, her voice carrying over the music with her own girlish charm.

_He’s got a good eye for talent, _Seungmin thinks, eyeing Changbin again, but Changbin never turns from the stage. By the time the song is finished the girls are breathless but their smiles are still pinned perfectly in place and Seungmin is pleased to find that their vocals have improved dramatically from their practice sessions.

“I didn’t expect much from this team,” Park Jinyoung begins, and the girls all fix their big hopeful eyes on him, “but I was very impressed with your formations here. You looked like this was your debut stage.” They all break into grins. “Ah, but I do think that on the high notes your vocals are still a bit unstable so that would be something to work on.”

Changbin picks up his mic next. “I couldn’t help but watch Yuna.” The girl in question places a hand over her mouth. “I thought she really embodied the energy of the song.”

Yuna thanks him with a flurried bow and Changbin smiles. Seungmin is so surprised that he nearly forgets his own comments, swooping up his own mic. “I’m pleased to see you took my comments from practice on board. I saw a huge improvement in your live vocals.”

There’s a chorus of such heartfelt thanks that Seungmin finds himself flushing, glad that the attention is mostly on the participants and not himself. The girls skip off the stage with one last bow for an appreciative audience.

“Next up we have a group doing a song by the nation’s soloist, Sunmi! Give it up, everyone!” Bambam calls out.

It’s the _Full Moon_ girls making their way onto the stage now. They answer a few of Bambam’s questions with nervous giggles, mics gripped tight in their hands. Seungmin is strangely apprehensive as the lights dim before the music starts, tapping his hand on the desk. The first notes of the song begin and he gasps at the way the girls transform as soon as they launch into formation, the flashing blue and purple reflecting off their sparkly outfits. Their gazes are dark, their moves sharp, and their vocals radiate with so much more confidence than before. In particular, Yeji and Chaeryeoung draw his eye in with their charismatic performances, capturing the hypnotic energy Sunmi is renowned for.

They finish with a flourish, striking a confident pose with Yeji in the centre, and the crowd roars with applause. It takes a while for the clapping and cheering to die down, the girls’ poised stances falling as they steal relieved glances at one another.

To his surprise Changbin is smiling as he picks up the mic first. “Wow, what a stage!”

The girls look just as taken aback, clearly elated to have their idol hero acknowledge them. A few giggle, looking between themselves, and thank him profusely.

“Seriously,” says Changbin, a far cry from the dark stage persona that Seungmin knows him for, “I can’t believe this is the same group I saw in practice. The improvement is really unbelievable. Your stage presence was so different from then. It looks like you really listened to my criticisms.”

The crowd are screaming and Changbin just continues to smile, waiting for the screams to fade. “Well done. I think you have good futures ahead of you.”

There’s not much Seungmin can say to follow up on that. Even Momo seems to flounder a little as she compliments Yeji’s dancing and perfect expressions on stage, leaving him time to try and scramble for a response.

“Ah, I’m really pleased to see how well this team performed,” he says, conscious of the way the camera zooms in on his face. After all this time he really should be used to it. “You projected your voices well and managed to put some real colour in your vocals. Sunmi has such a unique aura that it’s impossible it emulate her so I think you guys made the right choice in bringing your own more youthful energy to the song. I thought Chaeryeoung in particular did a good job translating the sensuality of the music with both her voice and movements.”

The girl bows deeply, glowing with happiness at being singled out and Seungmin is happy when the attention shifts to the next group to perform.

When filming is finally over, the bustling crowd beginning to trickle out of the venue, Seungmin forces himself to stay poised and proper, as much as he wants to flop over the desk and sleep. He’s about to get up and flee with his manager when Park Jinyoung calls his three judges over. Anxiety ripples through him at the thought, trying to figure out why he wants to speak to them.

“For the finale I thought it would be good if the three mentors could work together to produce a stage. Something where the three of you show off your individual talents and then come together to put those into a complete performance. It would be a good way to add some extra spectacle to the last episode of the show, hm?”

Momo’s eyes light up. “Oh, that sounds fun! Should we do a cover song?”

Changbin strokes his chin. “I can probably produce something. It might be more interesting if it’s something original.”

Seungmin frowns. A good way to reel new fans in is to cover songs of well loved artists, rather than a completely new song they aren’t likely to know. “What if we remix some older songs from JYP artists?” he blurts out, looking at Changbin. “A bit like 3racha’s cover of _As if it’s Your Last?_ Do you think you could do something like that?”

“You know that one? That’s from pre-debut.” Changbin’s eyes are glimmering, grin spreading across his face.

“I mean–”

“That’s a good idea. I like that,” says Park Jinyoung. “Run the final version by me and we’ll discuss it, okay?” Then he’s taking off, leaving the three of them with the bombshell that they have to make an original stage between the three of them and they only have four weeks to do it.

“So?” says Changbin. “Should we meet up to brainstorm ideas?”

Seungmin can’t deny the hint of excitement brimming inside of him. As much as it means he’s going to have to work with Changbin, he also can’t deny that the man is a fantastic musician and that there’s a lot he can learn from him. Not to mention that Momo has a wealth of performance experience to add to Seungmin’s vocals and Changbin’s rapping. With the three of them, they could really put together a unique stage the likes of which he hasn’t really seen.

It’s something different; a way to show a new dimension of himself to the public, which is what he came to the show to achieve in the first place.

*

“Seungmin gives really good advice. He doesn’t seem like a rookie idol,” Felix reads in his deep voice.

They’re on VLive again, talking about Sixmix's recent activities. Seungmin isn’t that surprised that they’ve strayed onto _Eighteen_ again – the show is turning into quite the hit with the Korean public. He’s even seen subway ads for individual girls filled with post-it notes encouraging favourite trainees on their way to debut. When the episodes air they’ve been trending on Korean Twitter, Naver and various other social media sites. A lot of people are excited for the future of JYP, especially with their predecessor Twice being dubbed the Nation’s Girl Group.

“Our Seungmin is really wise,” agrees Woojin, smiling into the camera.

“Right,” says Felix. “I was talking to our company senior, 3racha’s Chan, and he told me he’s been helping you with a special surprise that you and the other _Eighteen_ mentors have planned for the finale.”

Seungmin blinks, looking to Felix. “You’re friends with Chan?”

Felix laughs and then looks into the camera. “Ah, right. I don’t know if I told you guys the story but Chan and I are both from Australia. When I first became a trainee I struggled with my Korean and I used to fall back on English a lot. On one of those early days Chan heard me talking and asked me where I was from. From there on we still talk and he still gives me advice on being a foreigner in a Korean group. We have a chat and everything.”

“Chan seems excited about this project,” says Woojin. “Can you tell us a little more about it?”

Seungmin quickly recovers, wondering how he never knew that half of his members seem to be friends with 3racha. As far as he knew, they still considered them the enemy. “Ah, I’m not supposed to spoil though.” At his members goading, he caves with a wink to the camera. “I suppose I can hint at something…”

*

**Eighteen** **Mentors to Team Up for Special Stage**

_Thursday 29 July 2019_

The mentors of the JYP survival show _Eighteen_ have been confirmed for a special collaborative stage for the finale episode. Twice’s Momo, 3racha’s Changbin and Sixmix’s Seungmin will perform together on the last episode before the winners of the new girl group are announced. We don’t have any details yet but we’re excited to see what these experienced mentors will come up with. One thing is for sure, it’s going to be a spectacle!

The last episode will air on Tuesday 20 August at 8pm KST, where the surviving participants will be performing original songs produced by none other than JYP’s 3racha to secure themselves a final spot in the line up. Vote for your favourite girl in our poll below.

Comments [46]

**Mikiiii**

[+43] Voted for my girl Ryujin. Let’s debut!

** ShinRyuu**

[+12] same!!! <33

**sfffghf**

[+30] r we rlly going 2 pretend seungmin is on th same lvl as th other 2 tho like hes not even a main vocal

** Sixmixdefencesquad**

[+9] ppl rlly have nothin better to do than go around trashing seungmin when hes been an idol for nrly 2 yrs

*

“What songs were you thinking of?”

Seungmin, Momo, Changbin and the leader of 3racha, Bang Chan, are all squashed into one of JYP’s many producing booths, all of Chan’s mixing equipment spread out around them. He tries not to feel intimidated by how comfortable they all look; by the way Changbin and Chan seem to speak a different language the way they throw various producing terms back and forth that Seungmin has no hope of understanding.

“I still say we should cover JYP senior artists,” he says, interrupting their producer speak. “Maybe mix some different kinds of songs?”

“Yeah, I agree,” says Momo. “What kind of concept are we going for? I’d quite like to do something a bit different, since my group usually does bright concepts.”

Changbin nods. “Something a little bit powerful and a little bit sexy that we can all bring our own energy to…” His eyes shift to Seungmin and he frowns.

Indignation firing in his belly, Seungmin butts in, “I’d like to try a new concept, too.”

Chan nods. “Cool. I’d like to try rearranging 2PM’s _My House_. I think it would make a good base if that’s the kind of thing your going for. I’ll add some harder drums, maybe some more bass.” Already his hands are firing over his keyboard, various windows on his mixing software popping up on the screen.

“I feel like the chorus could transition quite well into Got7’s _If You Do_,” says Momo. “I already know the choreography but it would be fun to change it up a little. Sunmi’s _24 Hours_ could fit well too. I think I’d like to do one of those songs for my part, depending on what would be easier for you to mix.”

Chan gives her a thumbs up. “Both are good. I could give the bridge something edgier. An electric guitar, maybe?”

Changbin nods. “That could be interesting. We should play around with it. I don’t mind the song too much as long as I can fit my lyrics around it.”

There’s only one group that inspired Seungmin to audition for JYP. Although he loves their soft, sentimental songs he wants to challenge himself to a different concept. “Day6’s _Shoot Me_ could fit well with that, I think. It’s a bit more recent than the other songs too which might be a good idea for a younger audience. It might require changing the genre a little but if you’re able to work with that then I’d like to sing that.”

“I like it,” says Chan. “These are all good songs. It might take some playing around but I’ll see what Changbin and I can cook up.” He slides his hands together. “Ah, I’m getting excited. Give me a few days and I’ll get back to you with something.”

Changbin looks at him contemplatively on his way out but says no more and Seungmin leaves with the strange feeling that this idea they have is like the toss of a coin, depending on how it lands it could be something incredible, or a complete disaster.

*

“Seungmin? You still in here?”

Seungmin blinks as Hyunjin turns on the lights in the practice room, having missed night falling while he went over and over his routine. Shadows streak across the scuffed wood of the floor, the sky outside the window a velvet black dotted with Seoul’s lights glittering like stars. Dripping with sweat, he flops onto the floor and chugs his water bottle.

Hyunjin folds himself onto the floor next to him. “What’s this that’s got you working so hard?”

Seungmin scrapes back his sweaty hair. “I have to do a collaboration stage for the show which involves a solo part for me. I need it to be good.”

Hyunjin scratches his chin. “You’re there as a vocal trainer. You only need to show how good your voice is.”

Seungmin shakes his head. “I’m not at Woojin’s level where I can just stand there and wow people with my voice.” At Hyunjin’s scoff he says, “This is a chance to really show what we can do. That we’re not just famous because we happen to have the JYP label behind us. We might not be producer idols like 3racha but we debuted for a reason. We have our own skills.”

“Those comments are still getting to you, huh?”

Seungmin doesn’t really mean to let it out but there’s something about Hyunjin, who had once confessed his own feelings of inadequacy back when they were still fighting for debut, that reassures him he will be listened to and not judged for it. Seungmin is aware of his own failings – he knows he doesn’t speak up often about these things and instead bottles them up – but he admires how mature Hyunjin has become in the time since their debut, always happy to talk things out if that’s what anyone in the group needs.

“I did this show so I could prove we have something to offer other than automatic popularity because of our label. Besides, I’m going to be on stage with Changbin and Momo. I have to do something special if I want to match up with them.”

“Okay,” says Hyunjin, pushing himself to his feet.

“What are you doing?” he says, craning his neck.

“I’m not saying you have to or anything but if you’re committed to doing this then you’re going to do it right. I’m going to help you.”

Seungmin’s eyes widen. “You’ve already been practising all day.”

Hyunjin shrugs, eyes curving into crescents as he grins. “What’s a few more hours, huh?”

Seungmin plays his part of Chan’s mix, the bass thrumming in their small dance studio. He gets to work.

*

37 minutes. Seungmin has sat for 37 minutes looking at the number plugged into his phone, trying to pluck up the courage to call. The name Seo Changbin blinks back at him in black and white pixels. It’s not that he’s shy about it, exactly. More like he’s not sure that he a few forced interactions could really call them _friends_ so he’s not sure how Changbin will take him calling him up over some stupid niggle that’s been keeping him awake for far too long.

Suddenly the phone slips from his grasp and in his scramble to catch it his thumb hits the green call button. Panicking, he wrestles with his phone only to drop it on his bed, unable to cancel in time before he feels the vibration beneath him. There’s a long pause that makes his stomach swoop.

“Seungmin? Is that you?” comes a familiar voice, even deeper than Seungmin remembers.

“Uh, hi Changbin.”

“When I gave you my number I hoped you would call but I didn’t think you would.”

Seungmin pauses, trying process. “Ah, really?” Trying to think of something to say, he blurts out, “I wanted to talk to you about our stage. I had some ideas.”

There’s a pause, a rustle, and then, “Oh, really?”

“Um, yeah. I was thinking about making our stages flow together since you follow on after me and I thought maybe there was room for us to do it together. Like if I sing the chorus and you shout out the ‘bang bang’ parts, maybe? I thought it could work pretty well.”

The next pause is longer and it makes Seungmin pick at his quilt covers with nerves. “Are you saying you want to duet with me Seungminnie?”

_Seungminnie,_ he mouths to himself. “I just wanted to make sure our stage will be the best it could be.”

“You’re so cold! Fine, how about we meet up and talk it out? It’s easier if we’re together than over the phone.”

“Ah, okay. Where would be good for you?”

Changbin suggests a cafe that’s not far from his dorm and he quickly gathers his things, stumbling out into the cool evening with a bite to the air that promises rain. Overhead the clouds are thick and black. Wishing he had brought an umbrella, he picks up his pace so as not to be caught and makes it in the nick of time, warm lights through glass greeting him just as he feels the first spots of rain against his cheek. He jumps inside to the cocoon of warmth, the aroma of coffee distracting him from his original intention.

As he’s ordering, cap shading his features to stop him being easily recognised, he notices a figure tucked into a corner by the window scribbling in a notebook. His brow is furrowed, shoulders hunched over and completely absorbed. Seungmin can’t help but think what a striking photo it would make, the warm oranges of the cafe’s décor contrasting with the cool blues of a rainy evening. His fingers twitch around his coffee as he carries it over, wishing he had brought his camera even if he would never dare to take Changbin’s picture.

“Prince of darkness, huh?”

Changbin looks up with a slightly startled expression, round spectacles slipping down his nose, and then he’s shoving his things aside to make room for Seungmin. “So now we’re at the teasing stage of our relationship? It’s progress.”

“What are you working on?” he says, not knowing how else to respond.

“I had some ideas for a song that I’m working on for 3racha’s comeback.” Changbin taps his notebook. “But I was also thinking about our stage and I wanted to share some thoughts. I thought maybe if we tried…”

Seungmin simply sips his coffee, lulled by the gentle hum of the rain against the window, comfortable in that way he only feels when he’s nice and warm inside but the weather is stormy outside. Changbin has a surprisingly soothing speaking voice, deep and gravelly but with enough inflection that it’s engaging. He finds himself nodding along, agreeing to each of Changbin’s ideas, mostly because they’re genius, but partially because he’s too comfortable just listening while the rain continues to pour.

“… so then I was thinking we fire you out of a canon while Momo dances with a flamethrower.”

Seungmin blinks. “Well, that’s not very practical, is it?”

Changbin stares at him for a long beat, twirling his pen. “You were listening?”

“Yeah?”

“You weren’t saying anything! You just let me talk for the last twenty minutes and all you’ve said is ‘yeah’ and ‘mm-hm’.”

Seungmin scratches his head. “I was comfortable. You had good ideas.”

Changbin continues to eye him.

“Really! I don’t have your producing experience so I don’t know a lot about these things. I like your ideas. I think they’ll work well on stage.”

“A little input wouldn’t hurt, you know. I was starting to think I was boring you.”

Seungmin shakes his head and sips his coffee.

“There you go again!” With a scoff and a shake of his head, Changbin glances out at the rain pounding off the streets, car headlights rippling through the puddles. “And you have plenty of experience onstage. I can tell you know what you’re doing, producer experience or not.”

Seungmin’s grip tightens on his mug, something fluttering in his stomach. “I know what I’m good at, don’t get me wrong, but I am still just a rookie idol. I have a decent understanding of what my strengths and weaknesses are.”

That gets Changbin looking at him for even longer. Idly he wonders what he sees. “Mm. I’m starting to get that quiet doesn’t equal shy with you.”

Seungmin doesn’t break his gaze. He’s heard it time and time again, from the day he first dreamed of being a singer when he bought his first CD with his saved pocket money all those years ago. “There’s more than one way to be a performer.”

Changbin dips his head. “Right you are.”

*

**Han and Hyunjin Dark Past Revealed**

_Friday 2 August 2019_

An insider source has commented on the recent videos that have gone viral showcasing the feud between 3racha rapper Han and Sixmix’s Hyunjin. Our source, who used to be a trainee at JYP, said that when the two were trainees they regularly got into fights that would make the atmosphere in the practice rooms awkward and tense, claiming that it was a “long-standing feud between the two idols” and that “they could barely be in the same room together”.

Others have commented on the pictures that circulated after Mama, showing the two ignoring each other when the rest of their group members greeted each other on stage. You can watch the clip as part of the compilation here.

Comments [167]

**bangchan<3**

[+304] its a pretty well known secret at this point but like who wouldn’t be jealous of jisung when he’s only 18 and THAT talented

** sixmixdefencesquad**

[+190] you’re entitled to your opinion but this comment is entirely unnecessary it’s obvious you’re just trying to stir up drama

**JayWhyPee**

[+144] Who could forget those Mama photos? I mean there might be a solid explanation but it’s so much more fun to speculate.

**princesschungha**

[+85] I can’t stop watching thos e vids like wow they really hate each other. Must make running into each other at teh company awkward...

*

It’s like that old adage, you see someone once and then suddenly you see them everywhere. Seungmin doesn’t know how he’s never run into Changbin at the company before and yet now he’s suddenly stumbling into him in the corridor outside the practice rooms, Changbin’s hair matted with sweat and his shirt clinging to a frame bulkier than his height would suggest. Seungmin freezes and stares for long enough that he looks up and catches him, stopping a few feet away.

“Hey, Seungmin,” he says, voice gritty.

“Hey,” he says back.

They just stare at one another, as if unsure of their standing now. Are they just two idols from the same company who need to work together for a project? Are they allies inasmuch as they work the same career, sympathetic to the heavy scrutiny they both need to live their daily lives under? Or are they becoming something like friends? Seungmin doesn’t know the answer and he doesn’t want to presume but something won’t let him break their locked gazes and walk away. It’s the idol curse; you spend so much of your life cultivating a careful image that you can’t help the fear of being known.

Seungmin doesn’t have any close idol friends outside of his own group mates.

“Hey, where are you going? I called dibs on the shower first!”

They both startle as the door opens to the practice room and Jisung explodes out of it, stomping up to Changbin and throwing his arms around his neck. “I can’t believe you were going to just – _oh._ Hi, Seungmin. Are you guys meeting up or something?”

Changbin is still staring at him, a gaze so intense it makes Seungmin shiver. “No,” he says finally, eyes flicking between them. “Sorry for disturbing you. The practice room is free.”

He moves to pass by and Seungmin wants to say something but he can’t scrape out the words. Jisung keeps looking between them with a frown but then he bounces off after Changbin with a last wave for Seungmin. Seungmin still remains there for several long minutes until he finally breaks free of his trance, playing over all the things he should have said.

Changbin probably wouldn’t have wanted him to anyway.

*

The next round of filming for _Eighteen_ that he’s involved with is for the girls recording the studio version of their original songs, both written by the members of 3racha. Seungmin gets to accompany Changbin to the recording studio to assist Changbin in the production, along with some of the company producers. But as far as the cameras go, it’s just going to be the two of them, guiding the girls through recording their finale songs. Seungmin clasps his hands together, looking over the equipment that Changbin navigates with ease.

Changbin looks at him out of the corner of his eye. “Have you ever produced before?”

Seungmin shakes his head. “I’ve never sat on this side.”

If Changbin thinks anything of that it doesn’t show on his face. As the door opens and the first group of girls begin to filter in, he says, “You know what you’re talking about vocally. It’s not that different on this side of the booth.”

And it’s no surprise that Changbin turns out to be right. Not long into recording Seungmin taps his hand to signal to Ryujin and leans in. “Can you try that line again for me but make it more like this?” he says, singing the line. “It’s supposed to have a bit more yearning in it.”

She nods and Changbin plays the section of the song again. This time when Ryujin sings there’s the feeling that had been missing from her previous takes and the two look at one another with wide grins. Changbin gives him a thumbs up and Seungmin ducks his head, pride rippling through him. He gets why Changbin is proud of his producing credits; the power of creating the song is really addictive. It makes it feel more like his, even if he’s not the one singing.

“That was really good,” says Changbin after Ryujin has finished her rap section. “Nice tone.” Once she leaves the booth he calls up the next girl.

The cameras are long forgotten, Seungmin leaning forward to get a better look at what Changbin’s doing, and it’s like all that earlier awkwardness has been stripped away. In this moment he feels as comfortable around Changbin as he does his own members, warmth radiating from where their shoulders are pressed together. The main vocalist of the group, Lia, belts out a powerful note on the bridge and they look at one another again, grins spreading across their faces. The song is falling into place almost perfectly.

When all the girls have finished recording Changbin plays over what they have so they can hear the full version and it’s so much better than Seungmin had initially anticipated, something about the finished product so much more meaningful to him for having been involved in its production. Unlike 3racha’s songs there’s a subtle longing to the lyrics, talking about the first hints of romantic feelings blossoming within the girls’ hearts. It’s not until he hears the full song that he realises how heartfelt it really is.

“It still needs some mixing and I’ll need to consult on Chan’s opinion but–”

“It’s beautiful.”

Changbin blinks, looking over him a moment before he turns his gaze back to the equipment and says gruffly, “It’s not bad.”

“Excuse you, clearly my presence has elevated it from ‘not bad’ to ‘masterpiece’.”

Changbin snorts. “Is that so?”

Seungmin nods, trying to keep up his serious expression, but he cracks and the two of them share a laugh. Changbin cracks his neck and stretches out his fingers. “Well, don’t get too big headed yet – we still have the second song to record.”

Seungmin just grins. “Bring it on.”

*

**3racha’s Han Spotted with Sixmix’s Minho**

_Sunday 6 August 2019_

Despite insider rumours that tensions between the two groups are worse than ever, rapper and vocalist of 3racha, Han Jisung, was spotted hanging out with Sixmix’s Lee Minho this afternoon leaving the company. According to our intel they stopped for coffee, pictures below, before continuing towards the Han River.

Following the news of the collaboration between Changbin and Seungmin on the survival show _Eighteen_, could this be a sign that the bad blood between the two JYP groups is over? Let us know your thoughts below.

Comments [136]

**bangchan<3**

[+201] come on it’s prettyo bvious JYP is putting them up to this to get the rumours to go away like have you seen how awkward changbin and seungmin are together

** Eun-Chae-98**

[+79] totally agree on cb/sm but tbh jisung is the type to be friends w everyone so he’s probably friends w minho nbd

**bangchan<3**

[+36] did you not see the article from DAYS ago where documented his beef with hyunjin lol no

**HanaUnnie**

[+92] Ugh, do we really care? I’m so tired of hearing about this supposed feud.

**Popqueen101**

[+66] *gets popcorn out* what insider knowledge op we want to know the tea

**Heemin**

[+45] who could forget the rumoured jisung/hyunjin fight at mama last year those pictures just /disappeared/

*

“It’s not like that! You know I always put the group first!”

“You know how I feel about him! You clearly don’t give a damn about that!”

Seungmin pauses in the corridor to the practice room, pausing to peek into one of the other rooms. Inside Hyunjin and Minho are standing a few feet from one another, their postures tense and their arms crossed. Both are wearing expressions of anger, which is not something he sees often from either of them. With a sense of foreboding pressing down on him, Seungmin pushes open the door, neither of them noticing as they inch closer to one another.

“Not everything is about you, Hyunjin. Maybe he’s my friend.”

“And what does that make me? Am I just a colleague to you?” Hyunjin is bristling with anger.

Seungmin sees the surprise on his face as he shoves his way between them, plants a hand on each of their chests, and pushes them both away from one another. “I thought you were supposed to be working on choreography in here, not trying to scream the building down. No offence but Woojin’s still a better vocalist.”

They both deflate pretty quickly, the fight draining out of them. “Minho has abandoned his principles just because Jisung has noticed him,” says Hyunjin.

“That’s not true at all,” Minho says to Seungmin, like Seungmin is the judge on what’s reasonable. “Jisung is a good guy. Just because people tried to set up a rivalry when we debuted doesn’t mean we have to hate him.”

“You remember what they all said about us. It was insulting. None of them ever apologised about it.”

“It was more than a year ago.”

Seungmin pinches the bridge of his nose. “Please tell me you aren’t fighting over a boy.”

Both Hyunjin and Minho look sheepish. “It’s not like that,” they both say in unison and Seungmin arches a brow. They meet one another’s gaze.

“This is a stupid thing to be fighting about. Honestly, Jisung isn’t the devil.” At Hyunjin’s glare, he sighs. “I know you two don’t get on, and that’s fine, but I’m tired of listening to other people’s words. Maybe we need to form our own opinion on our own labelmates and stop acting like it’s their fault we always get compared to them. We’re completely different groups.” At Minho’s grin, he says, “And stop goading Hyunjin. You know the two of them are like cat and dog.”

“Now make up and stop giving me a headache. I need to go and train for my stage.”

With that he walks out of the silent practice room, hoping those two knuckleheads can sort out their frustrations. Seungmin gets their frustrations – it’s been a year now and there’s still comparisons to 3racha – but he needs to start training for his stage for the _Eighteen_ finale and he’s worried about how he’s going to look next to two more senior idols in his company.

“What’s got you looking so pissed?”

Seungmin startles, not noticing Changbin in the corner of the room fiddling with the speaker, clad entirely in black. “Uh, nothing.” He pauses. “Did you know that Hyunjin and Jisung hate each other?”

Changbin snorts. “Oh, yeah. Jisung used to complain about him all the time. Now it’s Minho-hyung this and Minho-hyung that.”

Seungmin grimaces. “It’s so annoying.”

“Right? Didn’t you prefer it when we all just avoided each other?”

It’s said in such a wry tone he doesn’t know how to react and Changbin he’s too focused on trying to find the song on his phone to read anything off his face. It’s the first time any of them have voiced it out loud. The first time anyone has acknowledged the comments. Seungmin wants to ask but he doesn’t know where to begin.

Changbin straightens up and laughs. “Look at your face. Don’t take it too seriously.”

But he’s Seungmin and he can’t not think about it, opening his mouth to speak when Momo pops her head in, wearing an oversized hoodie, her black hair in a knot above her head. “Hi,” she says, bowing in greeting. “Sorry, I’m late!”

“You’re fine,” says Changbin. “Aren’t you guys super busy with the concerts?”

Momo nods, her grin still bright, but Seungmin notices the dark circles beneath her eyes. Of course she’s tired. Twice’s promotion cycle is relentless. “But I’m all ready to get started.”

And get started they do. Momo, despite having just flown in for practice, is full of energy and brimming over with ideas. Step by step she guides them through the choreography she has come up with, folding Seungmin and Changbin’s ideas into her own until together they come up with a routine that looks sharp and intense in the mirror. It certainly leaves Seungmin winded and he’s pleased to find that Changbin looks equally exhausted, sweat dripping from his forehead as he stumbles on a few steps. It makes him feel slightly less like an imposter when sandwiched in between the wealth of their experience.

Eventually, after so many plays of the song he feels like he’s not hearing the music anymore, Momo says, “I think that’s enough for today. I need to head out anyway.” Somehow she still looks fresh despite the way her hair clings to her skin. “Let’s arrange another session soon!”

Seungmin waves her out and then as soon as she leaves he gulps down water, fanning at the shirt clinging to his back. There’s a pleasant ache in his muscles that lets him know he’s worked hard, barely able to hold his body upright. Wobbling over to the wall, he sinks down with a sigh and let his head thump back against the mirror. With his eyes closed the sounds in the room are amplified. Changbin’s soft huffs of breath, the squeak of his shoes as he walks, and then the thump as his back hits the mirror. Seungmin feels his warmth as his shoulder presses into his.

“I knew there was a reason I’m not a dancer.”

Seungmin utters a note of agreement.

“Say, how are you feeling about this show?”

Seungmin cracks open an eye, seeing Changbin pick at his shoelaces. “I don’t know,” he says eventually, punctuated by another swig of his water bottle. “It’s good promotion, I suppose. I want to show a new side of me.”

Changbin nods. “Yeah, it’s good to be able to do these things. Sometimes it feels like you’ve always got to be one thing, you know?”

“Like the prince of darkness?”

Changbin catches his eye, grin growing as he shoves him hard enough that Seungmin has to catch himself on his hand, nearly toppling over. “Hey! I thought we were done making fun of me for that.”

“I never agreed to that.”

“Yeah, you’re meaner than people realise.”

Seungmin snorts. “That’s because they don’t know me.” He realises the implications of his words; that somehow, inexplicably, Changbin knows him. They haven’t even interacted that much, most of it limited to odd pockets of conversation caused by proximity more than any real desire to connect. Yet he can’t deny it’s found them anyway. He feels more comfortable with Changbin than he ever thought he could and he doesn’t know how to explain it.

“Why did you say those things?”

Changbin frowns, looking at him. His damp hair juts from his baseball cap. “What things?”

“You know, back then.” Seungmin looks down, tapping the floor with his feet. “That we were boring. Unoriginal. Untalented.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You implied it.”

He looks up to find Changbin’s expression twisted into something unreadable. “I said a lot of stupid things back then because I thought that’s what my image had to be. I didn’t know.”

“Didn’t know what?”

“How talented you are. How unique you are. You have such an interesting voice that I really want to work with and you’re not really as reserved as you seem to be and you actually know a lot about what it takes to be an idol. You give great advice to younger trainees to help them grow and improve their skills. You obviously worked really hard to get where you are now and you’re so good at breaking down the mechanics of singing when you’re giving guidance to the girls but I completely took all of that for granted. I’m sorry.”

Seungmin blinks, taken aback. Of all the things he expected from Changbin’s word vomit, it was not all of that. “Oh.”

Changbin arches a brow. “Oh? I spill my guts out and all I get is an ‘oh’?”

“You’re really great too.”

Changbin gently cuffs him over the ear. “That doesn’t feel genuine at all! Wait until I expose you for the rude little rat that you are!”

Seungmin ducks out of his grasping hands, snickering. “They’ll never believe you!” But Changbin latches onto his waist and hauls him to the floor.

And so marks the end of practice, with the two of them scrabbling across the worn floor, clawing at one another through barked laughter until eventually Seungmin rolls on top and presses Changbin into the floor, his cap landing feet away from them. Limbs flopping uselessly, Changbin sprawls out on his back and closes his eyes, apparently giving up, leaving Seungmin to admire how soft his features look without his permanent frown. It sends a strange thrill through him that he can’t explain, picking himself up with a delicacy he doesn’t usually use.

“Hey, Seungmin,” Changbin says as he makes his way to the door, still lying on the floor.

“Yeah?”

“I meant it. Really. You’re something special.”

Seungmin chokes, mumbling a hasty goodbye as he scrambles out of the room. Outside he sucks in a breath, heart racing. He presses a hand to his chest and doesn’t understand why.

*

Seungmin can’t believe it when the final of _Eighteen_ rolls around, his manager dropping him off to get his hair and make up done for the last show. It’s been a quick couple of months, like he’s blinked right into the future, but being an idol is a bit like that. Constant training, recording, promotions, music shows and interviews in a constant cycle make him feel like he’s constantly spinning, hurtling through time. If he ever falls off that wheel he’s not sure how he’ll cope, too used to the way his days are filled to the brim with activity. He doesn’t think he can do normal anymore.

“Seungmin!” exclaims Momo, eyes bright despite having taken an early flight to get there on time. “Are you excited about the results?”

Seungmin nods, trying not to turn too much so as not to disturb the girl fixing his hair. “It’s strange how we’re here already.”

Momo laughs in agreement. “Just wait until you’re years in. I swear I just debuted yesterday sometimes.”

Filming is a lot of sitting around, waiting for cameras and sound checks and various other bits and pieces that come together to make a show. By the time he’s being herded onto the set he’s already flagging a little, a thin sheet of sweat dampening his skin, and he tries not to feel too self-conscious under the bright lights, screams reverberating through the hall as they enter. The crowd is a blur of darkness beyond the stage but he bows all the same before taking a seat.

Changbin falls into place beside him, sparing him a glance. “Are you ready for our stage?”

Seungmin bites his lip. “We’ve practised as much as we can.”

Changbin grins. “Where’s your energy, vocal trainer?”

“I’m plenty energetic,” he protests, just as Bambam steps up to the stage with his cue cards, the crown roaring in response. It’s too loud to hear anything so he leans back and leaves it at that.

*

“Hey.” A hand lands on his shoulder. “Don’t look so nervous. We’ve practised for this.”

Seungmin turns to look in Changbin’s eye, soothed by the calmness in his expression. With a nod, he turns his focus towards the bright lights of the stage, Momo adjusting her mic with the kind of focus in her eyes that an experienced performer has earned. It’s hard not to feel like an imposter standing between them but he shakes himself of the thought.

_I earned my right to be here. I am an idol, too._

Then the music begins and Momo enters the stage first to do her solo part, dressed entirely in red with her eyes painted in a smoky black. The crowd cheers her on as she twists in sultry and elegant shapes, her body following the rhythm of the music as her own recorded voice sings Sunmi’s words, the song bleeding into _If You Do_, complete with the intricate footwork of the chorus.

Hypnotised by seeing her dancing from this angle, Seungmin almost misses his cue, only stepping in when Changbin nudges his shoulder. Mic gripped tight in his hand, he steps out into the bright lights to meet Momo, the two of them transitioning with a series of practised movements that mirror one another, the instrumental shifting, a heavier riff weaving with the pop music until it’s his turn to sing. He lifts the mic and starts off steady, his voice low and raspy.

Then he lifts his gaze to the crowd, letting the song wash over him. The cheers fade away, until he’s just that same boy who used to play Day6 on his phone and sing along, dreaming of the day he could be on stage like his heroes. The chorus hits him all at once and he’s not really dancing or thinking about his expressions; instead he’s feeling the emotions of the music, translating it with his voice and nothing else. He could be in his bedroom right now, just a wide eyed boy, and he feels like he’s living in both the past and future, this moment the pin perfect point between then and now. This moment is the pinnacle of his journey to the stage.

Then Changbin’s catapulting himself onto the stage with all the energy of a firecracker, yelling, “Bang, bang!” in between Seungmin’s singing. The two of them mirror one another as the instrumental takes over, sharp movements so in sync it’s almost like they’re members of the same group who have been training for years together, and he can’t help but smile at how easy it is. How real it feels. Even better is when Changbin meets his gaze, fringe sweaty and forehead damp, and grins before he turns to the crowd and starts spitting his lines into the mic.

The growl in his voice makes Seungmin shiver, finishing the last of their choreography and skipping back to the sides to let Changbin have his solo. From this view he can see the way he throws himself from one part of the stage to another, words flying so quickly from his mouth it almost seems to defy biology. Seungmin is breathless; he’s not sure how Changbin isn’t. The screams of the audience egg him on through his verse, his skin glistening under the lights, and suddenly he feels like he’s just another one of the eager crowd, bouncing with the energy of his stage.

Just as quickly as it begins Changbin’s rap finishes with an angry line that makes the audience go wild and then Seungmin and Momo are jumping back in to finish the last section with the three of them, the choreography slick and fierce, Momo taking centre in red with Seungmin and Changbin on either side in black with red ties. It’s absolutely electric inside the hall, his skin buzzing and his hair standing on end as he lets the music guide him through their rehearsed choreography, sweat dripping down his back. They finish with a sharp pose, all three breathing hard, and Seungmin’s laboured breaths are lost to the uproarious applause. He bows, unable to believe the response. Unable to move his legs from the stage, even as the host comes down to speak to them.

Seungmin meets Changbin’s eyes and can’t stop the smile spreading across his face. Potential alternate realities spin away from him, of a world where Changbin didn’t debut so young and they spent their trainee days together, awaiting debut. Of performing their first song in the same group, waking up in the same dorm, teasing one another in interviews, and working on music in late night cafes while the rain pours down outside.

Bambam asks the first question and Changbin takes the mic, his voice raspy with exertion and Seungmin’s stomach lurches. He’s surprised by how badly he wants it. This vision that came out of nowhere. But then Bambam mentions 3racha and the dream shatters, shards of what could have been glittering like the stage lights in his eyes.

*

Five girls stand on stage as confetti falls, the stage lights shining in their eyes as they hug one another. They are the confirmed line up of JYP’s new girl group, all five of them having shown their skills throughout their stint on the show.

“I think it’s going to be a good group.”

Seungmin looks at the five glowing girls on stage, their tears streaking their cheeks as they keep staring at one in another in shock. “Yeah. They’ll probably be bigger than either of us.”

Changbin looks at him. “Stop speaking like you’re a failure, Seungmin. Your group is plenty successful. You’re only nineteen.”

“I’m not mad about it.” At Changbin’s raised brows, he smiles. “I mean it. I love my group and I love being able to make music the way I dreamed of, and honestly, if it was just me I wouldn’t care. I really wouldn’t. But when I think about how Hyunjin practised night after night on his rapping with a pen between his teeth and how Minho skipped sleep to perfect his choreography and how Woojin worked himself to the bone to hit his high notes and how Felix spent hours every day with his Korean textbooks and how Jeongin went to school in the morning and then came back to the studio to practice… I want our first win for them. So people will stop calling them flops.”

Changbin’s expression is hard to read, his brows furrowed together. “You’re hardly a flop.” He looks back at the girls. “You’ll get there. We had the same thing. People questioning us being a trio. Saying our music was too noisy and loud. That our image was too dark for a boy group. That we should get a proper producer to write our songs. You just need to prove that you’re stronger than those dissenting voices.”

Seungmin nods. “I will. We will.”

Changbin smiles. “Yeah. I know you will.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Winning Group of Eighteen to Debut as Itzy**

_Wednesday 11 September 2019_

JYP has just announced that the winning group of the survival show _Eighteen_ consisting of members Yeji, Lia, Ryujin, Chaeryeoung and Yuna will be called Itzy. Check out the teaser video here. They will debut towards the end of 2019 with a style that is set to be a departure from their senior girl group Twice, as promised by JYP himself.

Speculation has already begun on official member positions with fans arguing over whether Yeji or Ryujin should be the leader given their experience. We’d love to know your thoughts below.

Comments [122]

**ryuryuJIN**

[+234] I haven’t been this excited for a debut ever

** twicefan96**

[+79] same!! at first I was worried about having a new girl group but I love that they’re so different from twice

**Yeeet**

[+75] That finale was really something. I like the members a lot. And that judge stage… wow Momo made me gay.

*

“It’s exciting!” exclaims Jeongin. “Now we have a little sister group.”

Seungmin nudges his shoulder. “Some of them are older than you.”

Jeongin pouts. “We’re still the senior group though.”

They’re on VLive again, making use of the buzz around Seungmin’s mentor stage to keep momentum going for their comeback in the following month and it’s hard to shift the topic from _Eighteen_, especially when Jeongin’s too excited about no longer being the newest group on their label.

“Oh, hyung, your performance has reached 1 million views already!”

Seungmin’s eyes widen, leaning into Jeongin’s open tab on his tablet to confirm that, yes, the views are in fact over 1 million on Youtube. “Thank you!” he exclaims, making a heart for the camera, and he feels his stomach flutter at all the warm comments that follow.

“How was it working with our seniors Momo and Changbin?” reads Jeongin, leaning in to see the comments.

“Ah, it was really nerve-racking since they’re such good performers,” he says. “But it was really fun! I learned a lot from both of them and I really enjoyed getting to share the stage with them!”

“Ah,” Jeongin nods. “We enjoyed watching it. Did 6ixes like Seungmin’s stage?”

More comments flood in, some simply strings of emojis with hearts and thumbs up. Seungmin grins, throwing more hearts to the camera in his excitement. It’s nice to be recognised for something that he’s done and to know that he’s helping to pull new fans into the group. He’s learned the hard way to avoid the articles and the Twitter comments but most of what he has seen in the past few days have been positive in response to their stage.

“When’s the comeback?” Jeongin reads out and then laughs. “Hm, that would be telling, wouldn’t it?”

Seungmin meets his gaze. “Who says we’re having a comeback?”

“Not us.”

They both share a look and erupt to giggles, their manager gesturing for them to wrap up before they can spill any spoilers. That doesn’t stop them from slipping in a few subtle hints before they finish.

*

**Sixmix Comeback Mini Album Next Month**

_Monday 30 September 2019_

JYP has dropped new image teasers for Sixmix’s comeback mini album. The title track is called _You Are Me _and has been described as a more mature sound than the group has done before.

Click here to view the image teasers.

Comments [97]

**sixmixdefencesquad**

[+158] seungmin’s red hair is amazing!!

**Popqueen101**

[+84] whoa is it just me or does jeongin look hella grown up??

**GodVocal99**

[+37] Not just you. I was completely taken aback when I saw the photos!

*

Seungmin collapses on the floor after practice, so worn out he can’t even scrape himself off the ground to go home with the rest of the members. His shirt is clinging to him with sweat and his chest heaves with the exertion of trying to keep up with Minho and Hyunjin, the two of them so far ahead with the choreography he doesn’t think he has any chance of catching up. But he has to be perfect. This comeback might just be their most important yet.

“Hey, are you coming?” says Hyunjin, ducking his head back in the door.

Seungmin waves him away. “I’ll be out in a minute. Just head back without me.”

It’s two in the morning so Hyunjin keeps him to his word, the door clicking behind him. For a long moment Seungmin simply breathes, the cold floor a relief against his flushed skin. Comeback schedules are relentless and they haven’t even started yet but he can already feel himself gearing up for it, the tension seeping into his bones. His members have been working even harder than ever, throwing themselves into every dance practice and recording session with the hunger of a pack of ravenous wolves. It’s hard not to be affected by the pack mentality.

Hope is a dangerous thing and while none of them have dared voice the dream aloud, even Seungmin can’t help but envision them standing on stage as they’re handed their first win trophy, the weight of it in his hand. For his members he wants it. For his members he’ll work himself to the bone to get there.

Eventually his body cools, shivering as the sweat dries on his skin, and then he’s pushing himself up, wincing as his joints protest the motions. It’s dark out by the time he gets outside, cool air washing over him, and he wants nothing more than to collapse into bed for eight hours of dreamless sleep. He’s nearly sleeping already, the orange street lights blurring beneath heavy lids.

“Seungmin! Hey, Seungmin!”

It takes him a moment to register the voice, scanning the empty street with a frown before the face pops into his vision and startles him. “It is you,” he says, breath clouding out around his face. “I thought it was but you didn’t respond when I called your name.”

“Jisung-ssi,” he says.

“Jisung is fine. We’re friends now, aren’t we? No need for all that.”

Seungmin blinks. This is news to him.

“Are you walking back to your dorm? Do you want me to walk you back? I think we live pretty close.”

Seungmin is too tired to argue so he shrugs and begins to walk, Jisung falling into step beside him on the narrow pavement between road and building. He stretches out his arm as he balances himself along the kerb, looking far too fresh for the early hours of the morning. But there’s something fidgety about his movements, repeatedly glancing back as if to check that Seungmin is still there, that makes a light bulb spark somewhere in the gloomy, sleep recesses of his mind.

“Were you looking for something, Jisung?”

“I wanted to ask you if you would give something to Minho for me.”

Seungmin pauses, looking at Jisung’s face in the unnatural glow of the street lamp, his eyes open and earnest as he looks back at him from his precarious position on the edge of the pavement. A car trundles down the road at a speed too quick for a city street, headlights blinding, and Seungmin grabs his sleeve to haul him back.

“Sure. Is that it?”

Jisung tilts his head. “Is what it?”

“Is that what’s got you so agitated?”

“_Ah._” Jisung exhales, breathing steaming up into the night air. “Maybe? Does he ever mention me?”

Seungmin can’t help the small smile creeping across his face. “Sometimes.”

“He does? What does he say?”

“Hmm. A thing or two.” At Jisung’s bright expression he laughs. “I think Minho enjoys hanging out with you. It’s nice because I don’t think he has many idol friends outside of our group.”

Jisung looks satisfied, grinning wide as he skips along. Seungmin envies his energy, eyes drooping. They continue in silence for a while, the rumble of distant cars and the hum of street lights filling in the space between them. It’s a little chilly but it’s refreshing and Seungmin sucks it in gratefully, feeling some clarity from the madness that is preparing for a comeback.

“I know it’s weird sometimes,” Jisung says, strangely subdued, “the thing between our groups.”

Seungmin glances at him, bundled up in his hoodie and beanie, and nods. “Yeah,” he sighs, “I’m getting tired of it.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, our music styles are pretty different and it’s not like only one of us can be successful at any given time. I’m hardly going to resent you guys just because you have a few wins or whatever.”

“You don’t?”

Seungmin doesn’t know what to make of the surprise in Jisung’s tone, scrunching his brows. “No.”

“Oh. I think maybe Changbin thought you might.”

“Why would he think that?”

“Because…” Jisung scratches his head, looking sheepish. “I guess he thought that’s why you were being weird around him.”

“I was being weird around him?” He shakes his head. “If anything it’s the other way around. He was rude to me at the beginning. He barely even spoke to me.”

“I don’t think that’s how he sees it.”

Seungmin’s frown deepens. “He was the one who made those comments, about how we were generic and untalented.”

Jisung winces. “We had an image to sell back then. Please don’t think badly of him! He really respects you guys, you know.” Jisung lets his words hang in the air, before adding, “He really respects you.”

There’s not much he can say to that, his mind a jumble of different thoughts. “It’s not that I’m mad at him. It’s just… it’s been so hard to get people to see us for our own merit. I feel like so many things went against us at debut that we’ve never been able to shake, like Woojin’s injury. His comments didn’t really help.”

Jisung seems to mull on it, slowing down as they approach Seungmin’s building. “Maybe you should talk it out with him. I think he’d appreciate it. You wouldn’t think it, but Changbin is good at talking about things.”

Seungmin eyes him. “Why are you so interested in Changbin and me all of a sudden?”

“No reason!” Suddenly Jisung is shoving something into his hands. “Please give this to Minho for me. I have to go now! Bye!” Then he’s shooting off into the darkness, leaving Seungmin standing outside his building with the sense that he’s just had a completely different conversation to the one he thought he was having. Too tired to reason it out, he shakes his head and shuffles inside, stumbling into the darkness of the Sixmix dorm. The uneasiness sits under his skin even as he throws himself into his bed but he’s too tired to dwell on it, crashing into sleep almost instantly.

*

“It’s supposed to be now, isn’t it?” Jeongin elbows him as he checks his phone. “Why hasn’t it dropped? Did I get the time wrong?”

Woojin ruffles his hair. “Calm down. It takes time for the video to load.”

Seungmin utters a noise as Hyunjin jostles him from the other side. “Look! There it is!”

“Oh, Felix looks fierce in the thumbnail,” says Minho from the floor and Felix grins.

“Wait, wait,” says Woojin. “I need to put on the camera so we can record our reaction.”

“What if it’s terrible and we’re all disappointed?” Seungmin says.

Hyunjin and Jeongin whack him with pillows and he squirms beneath their joint attack. “I hope this makes it into the stream so people know how evil you both are.”

Woojin’s laughing as he scoots back onto the couch on the other side of Hyunjin. “Alright, someone play the video!”

Minho’s finger hovers over the key on their laptop but he’s wincing and looking away. “I can’t watch. I’m too nervous!”

Seungmin’s own gut is churning, terrified and excited and bouncing with the knowledge that he’s about to see the final result of months and months of their hard work. But it’s not going to be very entertaining for the fans if they don’t actually watch their music video, and delaying it isn’t going to change the quality, so he pushes Jeongin and Hyunjin out of the way and clicks to start the video.

The next four minutes play out with nothing but the music, the song he should be familiar with somehow different in its polished format with the video and the choreography matching up. Somehow it changes the whole feel of the song, which is something a little bit more mature than anything they’ve done previously. His hands grip the couch, his heart quickening when they hit the chorus and the six of them dance so sharply and synchronised that he doesn’t think they can be criticised for their choreography ever again.

“Whoa, Minho! That part was super cool.”

Minho preens, hands wrapped around his knees.

They all cheer collectively at Woojin’s big high note and Woojin claps his hands together, eyes crinkling when he smiles.

The last chorus transitions into the last line. His line. The one that he’s been practising the most, since it’s going to be the audience’s final impression of the song. His voice is even deeper than before, rumbling over the speakers, and dare he say it he feels a little bit proud of what they’ve accomplished together.

“Seungmin, your voice is amazing,” says Felix. “Ah, that gave me chills!”

Seungmin can’t stop his happy smile from growing. “We were all amazing. I think it came together really well.”

They finish out the video echoing the sentiment and Seungmin feels the ripple of hope across the room, coupled with relief. It’s good. Really good. Their best, if he’s able to be honest about it, and it excites him. He tries to temper his mood but it’s hard not to succumb to the buoyancy of his members.

As his members burst into chatter and Woojin disappears to fetch celebratory snacks, Seungmin feels his phone buzz and notices a Kakaotalk notification.

**SpearB**

[20:17] _Your comeback was really good! I liked your part at the end._

Seungmin can’t account for the way his heart skips a beat, fingers hesitating over the keys. He picks himself up and stands out in the hall, thinking of what to say.

**Minnie **

[20:21] _Thanks! I was nervous about that part…_

Seungmin pockets his phone, assuming that’s going to be the end of it, so he’s even more surprised when his phone vibrates to signify a call. Sliding it out, he sees it’s Changbin and dances from foot to foot as he tries to work out why he’s calling. After a few rings he panics and slides to answer.

“Changbin?” he breathes into the phone.

“Hey.” Changbin’s voice is raspy and it makes him shiver. “I wanted to congratulate you properly. I know you’ve been working hard on this.”

“You do?” he blurts, clutching his phone tight.

“Yeah. Jisung caught you leaving a few times at ridiculous hours. He’s always talking to Minho and he told me you guys have been putting everything into this one.”

“Ah, yeah. I was really nervous to watch the video but I think it came out well.”

Changbin hums in agreement. “You guys looked so much more confident.”

“Are you saying we weren’t confident before?” he teases.

“Me? Did I say anything?” Changbin says innocently and Seungmin laughs. “I’m just saying that your hard work paid off. I’ll be looking forward to listening to the full album.”

Seungmin’s toes curl into the carpet of the hallway. “You don’t have to listen to the whole album.”

“Maybe I want to.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that, unable to describe the strange flutter of emotions rippling through him. It’s the combination of thrill and sheer terror as a rollercoaster chugs upwards and then hovers on the precipice at the top of the ride, giving him a glimpse of the dizzying drop below.

“You still there?”

“Mm. Sorry, I was just thinking.”

Changbin snorts. “I’ve taken up enough of your time anyway. Go, celebrate with your group.”

“Thanks, hyung.” It slips out and he pauses with a small gasp. They’ve never talked about how to address one another but he supposes they’re something like friends now.

“Finally. I was wondering what it was going to take.”

“You never said anything!”

“Neither did you!”

Changbin’s laugh vibrates in his ear, the sound so much warmer than he ever could have pictured someone with his aura producing. It makes him smile, phone pressed to his ear to hear better, and he’s strangely reluctant to hang up. The show is over, they have no reason to hang out anymore, but he finds himself wishing it wasn’t. But he doesn’t have an excuse – can’t think of one to keep Changbin on the line – and the way the call is winding up feels like the ticking of the clock.

“I need to go. Don’t be a stranger, hey?”

Seungmin acquiesces with a small sound. “Talk to you later, hyung.”

“Congrats, Seungminnie.”

And with that he’s left in the hallway, the rumble of his group celebrating through the wall, with the feeling that he’s just left a conversation unfinished without knowing what the ending was supposed to be. He lets his phone drop into his pocket and shakes his head with a sigh. No use getting caught up in things that he would forget soon enough.

“You okay, Seungmin?”

He startles at the soft voice, seeing Woojin bracketed by light spilling from the crack in the door, arms laden with snacks. Seungmin smiles softly. “I’m fine. I’m just coming.”

“You know you can always talk to me, don’t you?”

Seungmin does. There are few people he trusts like he trusts his leader and he knows that if he ever has a problem, Woojin can help him sort it out. But this fledgling feeling growing in his chest is too new; too raw for exposure. He needs to let it grow, see what it will become before he shares it with anyone else. So instead he says, “Let me help you with that,” and grabs some of the snacks threatening to spill from Woojin’s arms.

*

**Sixmix Score First Win on Music Bank**

_Saturday 26 October 2019_

More than a year and a half has passed since JYP boy group Sixmix’s debut but the members finally managed to take their first trophy home at Friday’s Music Bank, beating out competitors such as Lovelyz and Kard. Their comeback song _You Are Me_ from their new mini album has been catching attention for main vocalist and leader Woojin’s high notes during the bridge and the notable point choreography during the chorus that has been trending with other idols, compilations below.

Click the link to the see members’ reactions to their first win.

Comments [74]

**sixmixdefencesquad**

[+129] my boys!!! i’m so proud of them!!

** Fox.Maknae**

[+79] I can’t believe they finally did it! Did you see Seungmin and Woojin hugging when they started crying? T.T

**bbYaHa**

[+97] they didn’t exactly have much competition tho

*

Seungmin likes watching _Idol Room_ when he gets a spare minute but he’s apprehensive actually standing on set, awaiting whatever Hyeong-don and Defconn will come out with next. They’re notoriously unpredictable, throwing out curve balls that can sometimes damage an idol’s reputation if they don’t react well, and Sixmix have had enough drama to last them their career already.

“Now it’s time for… Random Play Dance! We’re going to mix it up for this round and play songs from different JYP artists to see who’s able to dance along.”

Minho and Hyunjin sit up, ready to show off their skills. The first song to play is Twice’s _TT _and Felix flings himself out of his seat, smile wide on his face as he dances along to the iconic choreography, Doni and Conni clapping and cheering in delight and the Sixmix members shouting out encouragements. After that comes Got7’s_ Lullaby_, which Minho and Hyunjin pull off with perfect synchronisation, Seungmin calling out enthusiastically for them when they come back to their seats.

He expects to stay seated for this round, content to let the dancers amongst them shine, when a familiar rattling sound drums up into the explosive beginning of 3racha’s _Grrr_. There’s a horrible pause as his members look between themselves and Seungmin knows that this is their curveball, designed to throw them off balance. If they don’t dance they’ll be called disrespectful. He’s long learned anything can and will be used against them. But if anything, 3racha have always been a bit of a sore point for their team and he doesn’t think any of them are more than passingly familiar with their songs.

So he stumbles out of his chair and muddles his way through choreography learned from a few of the clearest Changbin fancams, enjoying the aggressiveness of the moves even if they’re not his usual style, making the distinctive hand gesture with a snarling expression. The music switches to Miss A’s _Bad Girl, Good Girl_ and he breathes a sigh of relief to see Felix and Minho already diving out, dropping back into his seat. Woojin pats him on the back and meets his gaze, giving him a small nod of thanks.

When they’re finally done with filming and their manager bundles them all back into their van, he’s met with the curious eyes of his team. “How did you whip that out?” says Jeongin, eyes sparkling. “You never learn other group’s dances.”

Seungmin shrugs. “I do sometimes. Just not as much as Felix.”

His members crowd around Felix and just like that the heat is off him. He doesn’t know why he feels so tense, so reluctant to explain what he doesn’t have an explanation for. If anything he’s just glad he was able to save the team before they ended up sitting awkwardly through the entire clip of the song. Their haters will still find a way to make it look bad, somehow, but at least Seungmin did what he could.

Vaguely, he wonders if Changbin will see it but the thought is quickly smothered by his exhaustion, happily falling into bed as soon as they get back to the dorm.

*

“Seungmin! Hey, Seungmin!”

Seungmin pauses in the corridor, wondering who could be calling his name this late at night. He himself only came at this time because he left his hoodie in the practice room a week ago and it’s only now that he’s had the time to come and pick it up, the promotions for their comeback thinning out just enough to give the group pockets of rest between the constant music shows, interviews and variety skits.

Seungmin sees a figure jogging up to him, Changbin’s sharp features manifesting from the darkness. “Hey,” he says, running a hand through his dark hair. “Long time no see.”

Seungmin can only utter a noise of agreement, inexplicably jittery when face-to-face with the man who’s been running through his thoughts more and more lately. He grips his hoodie tight in his hands, the fleece soft beneath his fingers.

“Congratulations on the win. You guys really deserved it.”

It blind sides him, the strange prickling in his eyes all of a sudden. It’s been so much, for so long. So much hard work and so much criticism and so much nauseating fear that they’ll never manage their first win despite being on a label like JYP. Seungmin is no stranger to imposter syndrome even though he knows how hard he worked to get where he is now. But it’s such a staggering relief to know that it’s not true – that they are in fact worthy of their label – and it’s been hitting him harder than he expected.

“Seungmin? Hey, Seungmin?”

The first tear rolls down his cheek and he swipes it away quickly. “It’s nothing. I’m just tired, and I’m just–”

His words are stolen from his mouth as Changbin grabs him and hauls him into his arms, strong and secure as they wrap around his waist. Before he can stop to think about it he’s snuggling into Changbin’s warmth, sniffling into his flannel shirt as the tears find him. Tears he didn’t let himself fully show in front of his members after that stage, too wrapped up in their amplified joy. There’s catharsis in letting them out now.

“Hey, now. You did it.” The hand rubbing his back is soothing and he sinks into it, feeling more at home than he has in some time. Changbin’s voice is low and it vibrates in his ear. “You did well, Seungminnie. I’m proud of you.”

Once he’s cried out all his tears, eyes red and raw, he pulls back with embarrassment only to find Changbin leaning into him, a finger brushing his lashes. “Feel better?”

It’s so soft. So different to the cold image he always associated with the man in front of him. He’s beginning to realise that maybe he didn’t know Changbin at all. That maybe he has completely misjudged him based on a few comments taken out of context and a fandom rivalry that dates back to when they were both younger and more insecure in themselves.

“Thanks,” he says, scrambling for a way to quickly divert attention away from him. “What are you doing here this late anyway?”

Changbin taps his nose. “Working on a secret project, actually.”

“What kind of secret project?”

Changbin pauses, seeming to contemplate, before he holds out a hand. “Do you want to hear it?”

Sliding his fingers between Changbin’s, he nods. “Sure.”

Together they traipse back to the studio despite the hour ticking well past midnight, most of the lights off in the building but for some dim overhead tiles, the sky the colour of tar beyond the window. In a small recording booth the two of them collapse into seats, Changbin playing with the controls, his brow furrowed in concentration. “Chan was helping me work on this but I sent him off to bed when it looked like he could barely keep his eyes open so it’s probably not quite up to scratch but–”

“Just let me hear it.”

Changbin looks at him, raising a brow. “So you’re bossing me about now. Is that how it is?”

Seungmin taps at his wrist. “I haven’t got all night, you know.”

Changbin’s grin finds its way onto Seungmin’s face, the two of them staring at one another before they break into laughter. “Yeah, alright. Well. You asked.”

The song begins slow, an eerie piano melody that sets up a sense of tension. Even though he’s braced for it Seungmin is blown away by the sudden drop, the bass rumbling as Changbin’s spitfire rap explodes from the speakers. The lyrics are dark even for 3racha’s usual fare and they burrow deep beneath Seungmin’s skin. By the time the first verse is finished he’s as breathless as Changbin must have been recording, wondering how he finds the space to catch his breath when rapping like that.

The chorus is all instrumental, that same piano melody overlaying a thrumming bass and moody EDM combination. Changbin pauses the track and looks at Seungmin, who’s still trying to process what he’s just heard. It’s powerful. Even for someone like him, who prefers the softer heartfelt songs of Day6, he can’t deny just how raw and real Changbin’s track is. It touches some deep space within him that he can’t put words to.

“It’s unpolished,” Changbin rasps, playing with the mixing. “I need someone better than me to sing the chorus.”

“It’s… amazing.”

Changbin’s head whips around.

Seungmin’s lips curl. “I mean, it is kind of _dark_ but–”

“Will you ever stop making fun of me for that?”

“I was going to say it’s really powerful but maybe I’ll have to retract that statement.”

“Sing for me.”

“I didn’t even know you were working on a solo – wait, what?”

Changbin’s stare is smouldering. He’s not laughing, so Seungmin doesn’t think it’s a joke. “Sing for me. Your voice would be perfect for this track.”

Seungmin’s eyes widen. “I don’t know. I mean, I’m only a lead vocal and I don’t have much experience with these kinds of songs.”

“I’ll guide you.” Changbin gestures to the recording booth. “Please. Try it for me. I had Jisung record guide vocals so I’ll play that version. Here,” he says, handing him the sheet music. “Just try it once and if it doesn’t work I’ll let you go.”

Seungmin can hardly say no to that, Changbin ushering him into the recording booth. He doesn’t know what to think, being on this side of the glass as he places the headphones over his ears and steps up to the mic. It’s different, seeing Changbin from this angle, the serious furl of his brows and the tilt of his head making him smile. They share that same passion for music, a thread that has connected them since before they ever spoke their first words to one another.

He listens to the track again and this time the version has vocal parts. Seungmin bops his head along to the beat, wondering why Changbin wants someone else to sing for him when Jisung can hit notes like that. Honestly, he only ever thought of 3racha as a hip hop group but Jisung’s vocals hold a weight to them that work well for the moody vibe of the song and he’s not sure he can manage any better. But the more he listens to the song, the more he’s drawn into the troubled persona of the man they portray, Changbin rapping about all he’s been through to get where he is, how he’s stronger for getting out on the other side, and how he won’t let the hate break him down.

It speaks to him more than Seungmin cares to admit, feeling like the song has punched him in the gut. _I want to sing this,_ he thinks and surprises himself, gripping the sheet as the song fades out in that same haunting piano melody that’s already looping through his head. He takes a few minutes to warm up his vocal chords, running through some exercises that the company trainer taught him.

“What do you think? Ready to give it a go?”

Seungmin flashes an okay sign with his fingers and waits for the song to begin again, closing his eyes as it floods through the headphones. His mouth opens before he can think and the words pour out of him with a glance at the sheet, the song already so concrete in his mind after a couple of listens, but just when he thinks he’s got it he stumbles over the last line of the intro, taking another look at the sheet, and Changbin stops the song.

“Sorry, I thought I had the words down.”

“No worries. I’m the one that threw you into this.”

Seungmin nods. “Let’s go again.”

“Hey, Seungmin.” He glances up. “I like how you sang it but do you think you could go a little deeper?”

“Yep.”

The music starts again and this time he has a better idea in his mind of what he’s going for. He pitches the words lower, voice rumbling over the melody in his ears, and even though he doesn’t know how it will go together he thinks it sounds interesting. When he finishes the last line of the intro Changbin pauses the song and flashes him a thumbs up.

Tugging off his headphones, he says, “Was that okay?”

“More than okay,” comes Changbin’s voice. “It was perfect. You gave me chills.”

Seungmin can’t stop the grin spreading across his face. “I bet you say that to all the boys.”

“Only the ones who sing for me like that.”

The grin is replaced with a blush and he’s glad that Changbin’s too busy with the music to notice, pressing a hand to his warm cheek. He almost feels like this thing they have has tipped into teasing – into an almost kind of flirtation – but he doesn’t know what to make of it.

They finish off with the chorus and Seungmin runs through a few takes, listening to Changbin’s thoughtful direction until they’re both satisfied, and then he’s placing his headphones up so he can come out and listen to the song with his parts. He’s not sure what to expect, apprehensive at the drawn brows of Changbin as he messes with various controls and keys that are completely foreign to him. He plays with the cap on his bottle of water.

“Okay, here we go.”

The piano melody is so familiar to him already but he’s not quite expecting his voice to kick in, so low it vibrates through the room. Seungmin shivers at how atmospheric it sounds, soft but deep. It’s why he starts a lot of his group’s own songs; the company is always saying he has a voice that draws the listener in.

Then suddenly Changbin’s rap bursts in and he’s breathless with how it sounds together, the contrast between his vocals and Changbin’s insane energy attention grabbing. By the time the chorus starts he can hardly sit still, bouncing in his seat with excitement. The song is relentless, never giving the listener room to breathe until the bridge where Seungmin takes over, the instrumental cutting back so that it’s him and him alone. Changbin’s voice breaks through for one last verse and Seungmin’s ad libs weave through the anger in his words, giving the ending a powerful punch. It ends with a refrain of the piano melody which fades into silence.

Seungmin turns to Changbin, who looks back at him with a serious look in his eye.

“Seungmin, it’s amazing,” he says. “I’m calling my manager so we can make this official.”

And that is the whirlwind answer to how Seungmin ends up doing a feature on Changbin’s new solo title track for his new mixtape.

*

Before Seungmin can even blink he’s on set filming for the music video. Without his members around him he feels a little aimless, standing beside all the cameras in a dark room with dramatic lighting, neon strips in blue and red creating a ripple of colour across Changbin’s face as he raps along to the track. They’ve already filmed the story scenes of the two of them in a car against a green screen, and he knows Changbin has done more filming, but Seungmin is only featuring.

Once they’re done with the first verse Changbin walks off to get water and the set director has the lighting rearranged to change the vibe. Seungmin likes watching them work; likes learning more and more about the industry every day. There’s so much involved in a music video, from the sets, to the lighting, to the camera work, to the direction, and he’s only a small cog in a much larger machine. The members of 3racha seem to have much more involvement than his own team, Changbin more comfortable in talking to the director about what vibe he’s going for. It makes him want to have more say in his own music but he’s not sure if he’d ever be allowed.

“You look deep in thought.”

Seungmin startles, accepting the bottle of water Changbin hands him. “I was just interested in the process. You seem to know a lot.”

“Well, yeah. It’s my song. It needs to have my touch if it’s to be mine.”

Seungmin nods.

“You don’t get that involved?”

“Ah,” he says, looking back at the men and women rearranging elements of the set, “we only just got our first win and even that was mostly down to circumstance.”

Changbin scoffs and he looks back, his face intense in the coloured lighting. “Wins don’t mean much anyway. If you want more involvement you need to fight for it. Chan did a lot of grafting for us early on, producing so many songs I don’t think JYP could ignore him. Besides, you guys earned that win. The song was good.”

“Just the song?” he says, aiming for a lighter tone.

Changbin snorts and gives him a light shove with his shoulder. “Come on, champ. We have a music video to film.”

Together they dance to the chorus in front of the cameras, following the direction on where to look and how to act. There is only minimal choreography that leaves Seungmin flailing, uncertain what he’s supposed to be doing if he’s not following a set routine of dance steps. In contrast Changbin is in his element, bouncing around the room and getting up into the camera aggressively.

“Seungmin, loosen up!” shouts the director. “It’s too stiff.”

If anything, the burden only falls even heavier on his shoulders, to the point where Changbin takes him to the side with a hand settled on his arm. He awaits the yelling, tensed up for the ensuing fight, only to gape when Changbin says, “Hey, you’ve got this.”

“Hyung?”

“I know this is different from what you’re used to. Try not to think about what you should be doing – this isn’t an idol music video. Feel the music, Seungminnie. Let it guide your movements.”

“But I’m not a dancer.”

Changbin flashes him a grin that lights up the darkness. “Neither am I.”

So he shakes the stiffness from his limbs and trots after Changbin, reminding himself of how it felt in the recording booth when the words just flowed out of him. He lets the music burrow beneath his skin, feeling the thrum of the bass, and then he simply moves. It’s less dancing as it is translating the feel of the song, wearing a fierce expression for the camera and hitting the beat with his swaying shoulders. He feeds off Changbin’s energy, the two of them mirroring one another. At one point Changbin even swings a hand over his shoulder as they finish the chorus.

“Nice!” the director says, inviting them to view the best takes on his camera. Seungmin can’t even believe he’s looking at himself, jumping around to the music with a fierceness he never thought he could accomplish, he and Changbin exuding so much energy it almost can’t be contained by the camera.

“Hey, we should take a selfie to drum up some excitement.” Changbin whips out his phone and nudges him to get in.

Seungmin barely has time to process, throwing up a V sign as Changbin snaps a picture. Changbin waves his phone at him. “Ugh, why are you so photogenic? You’re making me look bad!”

“It must be that chin of yours,” falls out of his mouth before he can think of it and he instantly flinches. Seungmin only makes these kinds of remarks when he’s comfortable with someone. His members are used to it but Changbin…

Changbin barks out a laugh. “You brat! Come here until I get you!”

The next thing he knows they’re running around the studio yelling at one another until the director tells them to cut it out. Breathless and panting, he looks into Changbin’s glittering eyes and cracks at the same moment he does, the two of them bursting into laughter. His stomach flutters pleasantly.

Maybe he’s happy that he was wrong about Changbin. Maybe.

*

**Changbin’s First Solo to Feature Sixmix’s Seungmin**

_Monday 11 November 2019_

3racha member Seo Changbin’s much awaited mixtape is finally coming this month. The title track _Silence _will feature JYP labelmate Kim Seungmin of Sixmix in vocals, with bandmate Bang Chan and Park Jinyoung himself credited as producers on the song. The music video will drop on Wednesday 27 November in advance of the full mixtape’s release and has been described as an ‘intense and emotional’ fusion of hip-hop and rock that has become synonymous with 3racha’s music.

Comments [101]

**SpeerB**

[+155] finally!! my crops are watered and my skin is cleared! we’ve only been waiting 84 years for this asdsfguhgdh

**ThreeRachaRocks**

[+82] could jyp be anymore obvious about trying to push them as friends like we all saw those han/hyunjin photos no one’s believing it lmao

** k-hye-min-01**

[+97] ikr?? like they’ve been at each other’s throats for years now and we’re supposed to just eblieve they’re all friends now?? everyone

saw how awkward changbin nd seungmin were on eighteen it was painful

** ThreeRachaRocks**

[+36] did u see that selfie changbin posted? lol jyp obviously promised him a lot to promote his flops

*

“When does the music video drop?” Felix says, the two of them crossing paths in the kitchen in the early hours of the morning. Felix has been out all day filming for _Pops in Seoul_ and Seungmin has just wrapped up on the music video for Changbin’s track, the two of them barely seeing one another for most of the week. It seems strange that they can live with another and not know what the other has been up to until quick catch ups like this but that’s just how it is with constant promotion, not realising until you stop how much has been missed.

Stifling a yawn, he says, “Not for a couple of weeks, I think.”

“It’s exciting, though,” says Felix, filling a glass of water. Passing it to Seungmin, he fills another for himself. “Solo activities are a good way to promote the group.”

Seungmin nods. “Yeah, Hyunjin has been training really hard for that new dance show. I’ve barely seen him for weeks.”

“Yeah.” Felix’s sigh fades out into the stillness of the kitchen. “You look tired.”

“So do you.”

They both share a quiet laugh and Seungmin takes a sip of his water. This is how it is, to be an idol. Work yourself to the bone now in the hope of a better future later. He’s made his peace with the worst of the job. If anything, he’ll gladly work as much as he can, but he can’t help but worry for his members sometimes. If they’re tired. If they’re struggling. He knows he’s not always the most talkative but he likes to think he’s a good listener and he always takes their concerns seriously.

“Hey, Seungmin… you and Changbin get on okay, right? You’re not forcing yourself into this for us?”

Seungmin blinks, surprised. “No,” he says quietly. Then louder, “No, I wanted to do it.” With a smile, he places his glass down. “I would do it for you guys, though. Even if I hated him.”

“So you don’t?”

“You shouldn’t believe everything you read in the articles, Felix-ah.”

Felix grins sheepishly. “I know. I guess I just worry. I feel like tensions are getting worse sometimes. I was spotted with Chan the other day and the amount of tweets telling me to keep away from him were… surprising.”

Seungmin frowns. “Don’t listen to them. They can’t dictate your life.”

“I know. It’s just Chan I’m worried about. And Changbin. I don’t want them to be affected by this, you know?”

Seungmin thinks of Changbin and what he would say. Probably something like, _fuck them._ “That’s a choice they should be allowed to make.”

Felix huffs a laugh. “Yeah, you’re right. Sometimes you’re too sensible for your own good.”

“Mm-hm. Get to bed now. You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“You too.” Felix salutes him on the way to his room.

Seungmin takes a moment to rest against the kitchen counter, enjoying a moment of peace in the whirlwind that is idol life.

_Since when did Changbin become my point of reason?_ It hits him harder than he expects, examining his fingerprints on the glass through the kitchen light. It’s strange, how much has changed in such a short period of time, that he considers Changbin’s opinion worth something, and it takes a lot for Seungmin to care about the opinion of someone else so the realisation feels pretty momentous.

But in the end he can’t solve the puzzle in one night, too tired to do anything but cave to the call of bed.

*

Seungmin doesn’t film a reaction for Changbin’s music video. He doesn’t even watch it with his members, secreting himself away in his dorm room with his earphones plugged into his laptop so he can watch the finished product himself. His stomach ripples with anticipation, unsure quite what to expect. It’s the first song he’s featured on by himself and he doesn’t know what the reaction will be like. He’s not sure he can control his own for the camera.

To his surprise the thumbnail shows the two of them leaning into the camera, taken from the day of filming with the neon lights. He hovers over it for a moment, thrilling at seeing the _feat. Seungmin of Sixmix_, and then he clicks. The familiar piano melody starts off the video and he sees Changbin sneaking into a set that looks like a bank vault. The camera focuses in on a keypad as he attaches some kind of randomiser device to break down the numerical code, glancing back. Just as the first verse kicks in, the lights flash red like a siren and the scene cuts to Changbin in the room with neon lights, rapping viciously into the mic and glaring viciously at the camera.

It’s a robbery, he realises, as Changbin shovels gold bars into a bag and takes off running. The video cuts to the dark room again as the chorus hits and then he sees himself, moving to the music as he sings the chorus and make aggressive gestures to the camera. The scene cuts again and Changbin’s throwing himself into a car that Seungmin’s driving and he’s shocked at how realistic the city streets look around him when they had filmed in a set with a green screen, the two of them stealing glances behind them at the flashing lights of the police cars in the back window.

By the time the video finishes he’s sitting up, fingers clutching his laptop as his heart races. He immediately clicks replay and watches it again, trying to absorb every minute detail of the video; Changbin’s expressions, the set changes, and his own movements so loose and free unlike his usual coordinated dance routines. It changes the music somehow. Gives the song an edge it didn’t have before. It’s fucking cool, is what it is.

Ten minutes later he finds his phone buzzing, not needing to look to know who it is.

“Did you watch it?” crackles in his ear.

“Yeah.” _Five times already, he doesn’t say._

“It’s pretty good though, yeah?”

“Pretty good,” he agrees, in a daze. Pretty good feels like an understatement. “You looked really fierce. I’m looking forward to the stages.”

“Actually, I was hoping to ask you something about that.” Changbin trails off for a beat and Seungmin’s breath catches. “There’s a few shows where your schedules are free. Management are trying to arrange for you to perform with me, if you would be up for it?”

Seungmin is immediately flung back to that stage they shared on the _Eighteen_ finale, the way the energy crackled in his veins like lightning. The way they seemed to feed off one another, bouncing it between them until it became it’s own thing. He thinks about how easy recording was and how much he had felt the song as he sang it for the first time. This project has become his baby as much as it has Changbin’s.

Hell yeah, he wants to perform with him.

“Seungmin?” comes the hesitant voice.

“Of course,” he says. “Let’s do it.”

*

Seungmin is glued to his phone, unable to tear his eyes away from the endless stream of comments about how his collaboration with Changbin has obviously been staged to make it look like their groups actually get on. It has him too distracted to hear any noises, muttering to himself as he enters the dorm and leaving his shoes at the door. He doesn’t notice the set of shoes that aren’t familiar, expecting all the members to be out to dinner because they texted him asking if he wanted something brought back when he got in.

So when he makes a beeline for the kitchen to fulfil his craving for late night ramyeon he hears the sounds too late, freezing in the hall. His heart pounds, wondering if they’ve been burgled; if maybe a saesang has found their address, when the next sound is a low, drawn out grown. The kitchen light is on, cutting into the darkness of the hall, and he shuffles towards it despite the voice in his head warning him not to.

With his back to him is Minho – he knows because he recognises his jacket – and he’s kissing someone that’s perched on the kitchen counter with their legs wrapped around his waist, hands clutching at his hair as they ravage one another in a way that sends a shiver through Seungmin. The person pulls back and Seungmin catches a glimpse of Han Jisung’s face hazy with pleasure as Minho kisses down his neck and Seungmin is out of there immediately, walking backwards away from the door and then grabbing his shoes and propelling himself outside.

The night air is cool and refreshing against his flushed skin. His heart is racing and he’s breathing hard, breath clouding around his face. He can’t shake the image of the two of them gripping at one another, the smack of their lips and rustle of clothing, and he pieces it into a larger puzzle with memories of the two of them making eyes at one another that night outside the company building, or the hope in Jisung’s voice as he’d asked about Minho.

Yet Seungmin can still hardly believe it, unable to work out why he’s so shaken by something that should have been obvious. His first thought is, _Hyunjin is going to flip,_ quickly followed by, _what would Changbin think?_

Suddenly that’s the most important thing. His skin itches with the need to know but he also knows he can’t tell him. He can’t a breathe a word of this to anyone. Not only do his group have a dating ban, there’s absolutely no way any of their careers could survive the news of a member being gay, as much as it makes him feel cowardly to think it. Suddenly he aches for them, knowing they’ll have to hide this for the rest of their careers if their relationship is serious.

Surely Changbin would be okay, wouldn’t he? 3racha’s music has always been about being different and being proud of it. Heck, they’ve been open about supporting LGBT and similar topics, even being spotted attending Seoul Pride. It’s not like Minho and Jisung not being straight would really bother them. But the fact that they might be dating? Knowing it could jeopardise all their careers? Seungmin doesn’t know what to think about it.

_Pretend you never saw it._ That’s the best solution in this scenario and he’s almost relieved once he commits himself to it. It’s not like he’d ever dream of trying to split them up, no matter how dangerous he thinks it is, but he also can’t be the one to endorse such foolish actions openly. Nor can he spill to his members, for fear of their reactions. No, the only thing he can do is act like it didn’t happen and continue on as normal.

He squeezes his eyes shut at the reminder of Jisung’s breathy moan and looks to the orange haze of street light that permanently basks the city at night time. He can do it. If he tries hard enough.

*

It’s eventually agreed that Seungmin will participate in three stages for Changbin’s solo track, all of which fly by in a flash of glittering lights and screaming fans. Sometimes he feels like he lives life in fast forward, always speeding from one moment to the next with barely a moment to breathe. The videos are there on Youtube if he wants to watch them back, evidence that, yes, he did in fact perform under the flashing stage lights with Changbin at his side. His first solo venture. But none of it feels quite real.

Between filming for a new variety show for Sixmix members on Jeju island, Seungmin takes a break under the cool shade of an umbrella, smiling as Minho chases Jeongin around the beach, the water shimmering as it ripples in towards the white sand. Sipping on some sweet tropical juice, he scrolls through his phone only to find Changbin’s latest performance has been uploaded to Youtube and considers whether he wants to watch it. The thumbnail is a tantalising close up of his face mid-snarl.

Seungmin chances another glance, seeing Woojin passed out on a deck chair with his chin tucked into his chest. Promotions really have been relentless lately, with the company wanting to capitalise on the success of their first win. They’ve all been feeling the strain, so he’s relieved to have a few minutes just to rest. Plugging in his earphones, he clicks on the video and shivers as that haunting melody starts up, Changbin nothing but a silhouette against the red lights of the stage.

Then suddenly he’s turning, mic gripped tight in his hand as he fires into his rap, voice deep and gravelly, holding the camera with the sheer magnetism of his gaze. Seungmin is so rapt by the performance he doesn’t notice Hyunjin’s shadow fall over him, only startling when a hand waves in front of his face, Hyunjin’s eyes crinkling when he laughs.

“What are you watching?”

“Nothing,” he says too quickly, dropping his phone as Hyunjin flops into a chair beside him and scrapes his hair out of his face. He’s been growing it out longer and it’s stupidly attractive on him. Hyunjin is just happy the fans are responding well to his new look.

“Mm. Well, I’m exhausted.” Hyunjin leans back with a sigh, eyes falling closed. Somehow he looks even paler than normal, despite the warm Jeju sun.

“You okay? You’ve been working really hard for this new dance show.”

Hyunjin waves a hand. “Fine. I’m fine. This is good, Seungmin. We’re busy because we’re gaining attention.”

“Yeah, but it shouldn’t be at the cost of our health.”

Hyunjin cracks an eye open, tilting his head at him. “You’ve been looking a little peaky yourself. You did those extra stages just before we flew out.”

“Yeah, but 3racha have a bigger fanbase than us and more public recognition. It helps to open us up to a wider viewership.”

“Hm. So you should sacrifice your health for the group but I shouldn’t? How is that fair?” Hyunjin’s tone is reproachful but there’s a small smile curling his lips.

Seungmin gives him a gentle whack on the shoulder. “Shut up. I’m trying to look out for you but you never make it easy, you buffoon. You work too hard.”

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead, Seungminnie. This is our chance and I’m not going to waste it.”

“You’re sleeping right now.”

“Semantics,” Hyunjin says, raising his face to the sun, only partially shaded by Seungmin’s umbrella.

Seungmin snorts, shaking his head fondly. In truth, he doesn’t always know what pushes his members quite so hard, and sometimes he feels like he’s not quite worthy of them when he’s not sure he has quite that same commitment. He just wants to make music. It’s been his passion for as long as he can remember, since he played his first album on a loop and realised there was magic in a melody. Since he first realised there was a story to be told in a song. Still, he’s been given opportunities many kids have trained their life for and still missed out on so he can’t exactly resent his situation.

He watches the lazy waves kiss the shore and can’t help the longing stirring inside him. Sometimes he just wants to let loose a little. Shake off the shackles of constantly watching what he says or does or the expression he shows on his face – the constant, ever-present performance he lives in – in case it be misinterpreted by some angry fan.

Even though he has a lot, sometimes he just wishes he could have a little more, and he isn’t sure if that just makes him plain greedy.

*

“Seungmin!”

Seungmin is scouring the vending machine outside the practice room, having whiled away the time without realising, and now there’s a black hole where his stomach should be. He turns at the shout of his name to see Jisung waving at him, drowning in an oversized hoodie that covers all but the tips of his fingers, hair spilling out the ends of his bucket hat.

“Oh, hey,” he says a little awkwardly, struggling to meet Jisung in the eye. The last time he saw him he was on a table with his legs wrapped around his group member. It’s a difficult image to shake. “How are you doing?”

“Good. Good.” The light from the vending machine washes his face in a strange light, his eyes big and dark. Seungmin kind of gets the appeal; he’s cute when he’s not tearing up the stage. “Are you okay? You look a little pale.”

Seungmin turns from where’s browsing the selection and scratches the back of his neck. “I’m just hungry. I didn’t realise the time.”

“Aw, yeah, I’m always doing that!”

Seungmin looks back, feeling Jisung’s presence at his shoulder, and fights back the urge to flee. “You want something?”

“Oh, that’s okay. I have money.”

“I’m only going to offer once,” he says, finger hovering over the button.

“I’ll have a coffee then.”

Seungmin arches a brow, punching in the codes. “Jisung, it’s two in the morning.” The items rattle as they land at the bottom of the machine, the only sound in the empty, dimly lit hallway.

“I still need to finish this song. I just can’t seem to–” Jisung cuts off as Seungmin presses a carton into his hand. “This is orange juice.”

“I’m not giving you that much caffeine at this hour. Go to bed, Jisung. Your song will still be there in the morning.”

The puppy dog eyes on Jisung are strong enough to nearly have an effect but he’s had enough exposure to Jeongin to have built up some resistance, punching his strawberry milk with his straw. His hair is damp and sweaty and it’s starting to cool now that he’s stopped dancing, making him shiver.

“Hey, Seungmin, we’re okay, right?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?” he says through sips of his milk, still wishing that running was an option.

“It’s just, you seem to be struggling to look at me.”

Seungmin flinches, meeting his gaze properly. “Uh…” His mind blanks and later he’ll blame it on the exhaustion but he blurts out the only thing in his mind: the truth. “I may have accidentally seen you and Minho.”

Jisung blinks, tilts his head like a confused owl, and then flops down onto a bench. “Oh.”

Seungmin panics at the horror on his face, flailing as he drops down beside him. “I swear I didn’t really see anything it was just a flash and I got out of there as soon as I could but, uh, I may have seen you guys making out and, uh, yeah.”

Jisung is nibbling at his lip, hands gripping at the strings of his hoodie. “Minho is going to flip. Oh god, he’s going to freak out.”

“Kind of like you’re doing now?”

“I’m not freaking out!”

Seungmin can’t help but laugh at him, laughing harder when Jisung affixes him with a stricken look. It’s strange, this sense of calm that has washed over him all of a sudden. Haven’t they all been through too much to worry about this? Haven’t they put in enough blood, sweat and tears to their careers and their company to be allowed some small thing back? Maybe he’s just too tired to always be thinking of how it looks to the outside viewer. Maybe he just wants to view his life from the inside, just this once.

“It’s okay, you know,” he says, leaning back against the wall. “You and Minho, I mean. I don’t think there’s anyone between our groups who wouldn’t support you guys. If that’s what that was…”

“We’re not dating or anything like that.”

“Okay.”

Silence falls, to which Seungmin simply rests his head and drinks his milk, content to wait Jisung out. If there’s one thing he’s learned about silence, it’s that eventually someone will feel the need to fill it. That person is never him.

All of a sudden Jisung fixes him with an uncharacteristically serious look and says, “I love him, Seungmin.”

“Oh.”

_Oh._

Jisung nods, looking a little miserable. “I don’t want to jeopardise his career by telling him that. I don’t want to jeopardise Chan’s or Changbin’s. Or yours. I just feel lonely sometimes and he’s the only one who can really fill that hole, you know?”

“Well,” says Seungmin, delaying to think of the proper response such weighty words deserve. He’s twenty; it’s not like he knows a lot about love. “Well, you deserve to be happy. That’s what’s most important here.”

Jisung stares at him with wide eyes like he’s the Greek Oracle of Delphi. Honestly, he’s not sure what he’s done to deserve such respect but damn him if he’s going to rain on Jisung’s parade now. “You know, you’re right.”

Seungmin nods. “I am right.” He likes how those words taste on his tongue. “You’ve been working so hard, Jisung. We all have, Minho included. So if you want to have this for yourselves, I say go for it. Just, don’t be stupid about it.”

“I won’t.”

It’s said with such gravity it makes him smile. Jisung’s really not a bad guy and he feels a little guilty that he ever doubted him. “Can you do me a favour though? Can you not tell Minho that I know.”

“Uh…” Jisung frowns. “I’m really really bad at keeping secrets.”

“It’s not a secret,” he says. “It’s just, Minho has looked a lot freer lately. I don’t want to make him feel awkward because he knows that I know.”

“Oh. Yeah, I think I can do that.”

Seungmin nods, squashing his finished carton of milk. Now that he’s sat down the exhaustion is catching up to him and he wants to head home before he runs out of energy, ready to collapse into bed. He gets up, looking to see if Jisung will follow, but he’s still sitting there staring at the opposite wall with his hands pressed over his knees.

“Hey, Seungmin?” he says quietly.

Seungmin hums to acknowledge him.

“You deserve to be happy, too.”

Any words he had die on his tongue. Seungmin stares at Jisung for a long moment, suddenly feeling older than his meagre twenty years, and doesn’t know what he possibly could say in response. Jisung looks remarkably innocent, jumping up to his feet, woes apparently forgotten. He grabs Seungmin’s arm and drags him along in his whirlwind.

“Come on, let’s go home.”

But even as he finally crashes into bed, Seungmin can’t shake those words. They ring in his mind all night as he tosses and turns in a fitful sleep. _You deserve to be happy, too._

*

“And the next question is…” The host flips her cue card. “Which idols from other groups are you close to?”

“I’m friends with Eric from _The Boyz,_” says Felix on his right. He passes the mic to him and Seungmin blanks. He doesn’t really have idol friends.

“Uh, I’m close to 3racha’s Jisung and Changbin.”

Even his own group seem a little surprised at this one but the host quickly skips onto Woojin, who talks about his days training under SM Entertainment before he made the move to JYPE. Seungmin wonders what the fans will make of his confession. If they’ll believe him, or if they’ll assume it’s more PR pushed by the company. He understands their concerns – it’s not like he hasn’t lied because his manager told him he was supposed to – but at this point he’s not sure how else to prove that, yes, he genuinely gets on with 3racha and that whatever bad blood they once had has since drained away.

Later, when the interview filming is finished and Seungmin has returned to his dorm, he’s surprised by his phone ringing. His heart flutters when he reads the caller name and he wonders if maybe he spoke too soon, putting down his toothbrush to answer. Maybe he shouldn’t have called them friends in public.

“Hey!” is the forceful greeting. Seungmin winces. “Why did you say you were close to Jisung before me?”

_Oh._ “That’s what this is about?” Seungmin spits toothpaste into the sink and rinses out his mouth.

“What has Jisung done for you that I haven’t?”

Seungmin hums, smiling at himself in the mirror despite himself. “He bought me a can of juice last week,” he says. They run into one another every so often at the company and now instead of averting his eyes and passing him by, Seungmin is happy to stop and catch up with Jisung.

Changbin scoffs. “I can do one better. How about dinner?”

Seungmin is glad he finished brushing his teeth or he might have choked. “Dinner, hyung? Are you paying?” He tries to sound nonchalant.

“I might be. If my dongsaeng isn’t an ungrateful brat.”

“Hey!”

Changbin’s answering laughter vibrates in his ear.

“I’m holding you to free food now. You’re not getting out of this one.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it. Text me when you’re free and we’ll get it arranged.”

And just like that he hangs up, leaving Seungmin wondering. Did he just get asked on a date?

*

The question persists as he waits outside the place Changbin told him to meet him at, a cap over his face to hide his features, and an oversized hoodie drowning him because it’s getting pretty bitter outside, the trees lining the quiet avenue stripped of their leaves. Warm light spills out of the restaurant, nothing more than a noodle bar tucked in between a barber and a grocery store that shut an hour ago. Seungmin plays a game on his phone and shivers as a cool blast of air hits him, taunting him with the promise of another cruel Seoul winter.

“Did you wait long?”

Seungmin glances up at the figure clad in a baseball cap and face mask, still knowing from the sharp eyes in an instant. He sighs theatrically and flashes his empty wrist. “What time do you call this? It’s freezing out here.”

“I was on time until Jisung pounced on me, complaining that I stole his jacket,” says Changbin, ushering inside. “Ha, your nose is all red.”

Seungmin automatically reaches for it, only to flush at Changbin’s grin. “It’s cold,” he grumbles. “It’s your fault for bad time-keeping if I get pneumonia.”

“I’ll make it up to you,” he says mysteriously, missing Seungmin’s frozen reaction as he greets the old ahjussi who owns the restaurant like an old friend and then directs Seungmin to a quiet corner tucked into a booth. They kneel at a low table, heated underneath, and Seungmin clings to it gratefully, rubbing his numb hands together.

“I like this place because no one ever recognises me here,” says Changbin, pulling off his face mask. “The old couple that own this place make good food.”

Seungmin just nods, feeling the cosy atmosphere of the place seep into him, crossing his legs and shrugging off his jacket. He likes the décor, noticing a scattering of pictures of what he assumes to be the family in different stages of their life. One of them looks to be the couple’s wedding photo, the bride beautiful in her hanbok. Others show a little girl with chubby cheeks and pigtails. Then there’s one closer to his side of an older girl holding a graduation certificate. Their daughter, if he were to guess.

Changbin laughs, drawing his attention. “Most people get less quiet when they’re comfortable with people, not more.”

“I guess I’m not most people.”

“No. No, you definitely aren’t.” Fondness bleeds through the words.

Something warm burrows into his belly and he’s relieved when Changbin gets up to order for the reprieve of his gaze. Without other members or staff between them, he feels oddly exposed sitting with just Changbin, nothing to temper the way he looks up at him from across the table, and Seungmin has to wonder where this affection came from.

Their food arrives and Seungmin tucks in, enjoying the rich combination of flavours and the way the pork melts in his mouth. For a while they both fall quiet, simply enjoying a good wholesome meal and the warm shelter from an icy winter evening. The food is quickly devoured between them and he feels a little guilty for betraying his diet. But only a little.

“You eat well,” says Changbin. “I’m glad. You’re looking a little thin.”

Seungmin pauses with the bowl in his hand, still chewing. “Mm. We’ve been so busy since our win that the weight just falls off. This is really good, though.”

“Yeah, I’ve been seeing you guys everywhere these days. Sixmix are in high demand.”

“It does feel nice,” he admits. “You must feel good about your solo song doing well.”

Changbin’s smile softens, dropping into a contemplative look. “If you’d told me a few years ago where I’d be, I don’t think I would ever have believed you.”

Seungmin hums in acknowledgement.

“Chan was so desperate, after watching his friends debut with Got7. When he found Jisung and me, we all realised we had something special together, but getting anyone to realise that wasn’t easy. Our music was too loud, too noisy. We only had three members. We couldn’t dance. Too idol to be real rappers but too much rap to be marketable idols.” Changbin shakes his head. “It took a lot of fighting to convince people. I swear Chan didn’t sleep for that first year.”

“When I think about what I used to do,” says Seungmin. “I would finish practice, go home, catch an hour or two of sleep and then get up and go to school. From there I went straight back to the company. Looking back at it now… I don’t think I could do it again.”

“Do you ever think,” Changbin begins, brow furrowing. “Do you ever think about if the timing had been different we might have been in the same group?”

Seungmin stares at him. The truth is that, yes, in the deepest of nights when he can’t sleep, he rolls from his side to his back and stares at the ceiling, mind racing with alternate realities where maybe he and Changbin train together, the goal of debut in both their sights. Maybe he and Changbin debut together, harnessing that electric energy between them to perform under the flashing lights. Maybe they raise their first trophy together, sharing a look of triumph from across the stage.

“Let’s face it, hyung,” he says instead, “we probably would have killed each other.”

Changbin snorts. “Maybe.”

They linger for a while longer to chat, soaking in the luxury of rest for one blissful evening. Seungmin thinks that even if this isn’t a date, he’ll never forget how it feels to bundle up and make his way to the entrance only to watch the old ahjumma’s eyes crease as she fawns over Changbin, patting his cheeks and squeezing his hands. By the time Changbin makes his way out, his face is red, and he throws a sheepish look at Seungmin.

His boots crunch beneath him as he steps into the street, the ground painted in a sheet of white. It lingers across rooftops and cars, spilling a strange, atmospheric hush over the area. The amber street lamps reflects off it, the sky a dusky plum above them. Seungmin feels a chill crawl down his spine and calls it the reason why he moves closer to Changbin, shoulder to shoulder as they leisurely walk back home.

“Hey, Seungmin,” Changbin says suddenly, breaking the comfortable quiet between them. “We’re good, aren’t we?” He looks so suddenly concerned about this that Seungmin feels his heart grow a size.

“Of course,” he says. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

“So does that mean you’ll list me before Jisung next time?”

Seungmin raises a brow, content to let Changbin sweat. “That’s what all this is about? Here I thought you just–”

Suddenly Changbin steps up to him and lands a hand on his shoulder. Fingers curling around his neck, he pulls him forward and Seungmin stumbles in the snow, lips crashing into Changbin’s. He feels a hand in his hair, chapped lips moving over his, and a hot puff of breath before Changbin pulls back, taking a step until there’s a gap between them, eyes shifting from left to right. His cheeks are flushed red.

“Uh, Seungmin…”

“So this was a date then?” He’s trying hard not to grin but he’s having difficulty holding it back.

“Do you want it to be?”

He pretends to think, enjoying the way Changbin narrows his eyes in faux annoyance. “Hm. I might need to think about it.”

“Hey!”

Cackling, Seungmin looks around himself, and finding the street empty, he grabs Changbin’s hand, threading their fingers together. The point of contact is warm against the chilly winter night. “I like you, hyung,” he says softly, giddiness bubbling up in his chest.

Changbin’s smile grows and he squeezes his hand. “I like you, too.”

*

Dating Changbin isn’t much different from being friends with him. Matching up their demanding schedules is a mammoth task and more often than not their relationship is confined to phone calls or video chats late at night when they both should be sleeping. It’s not even really dating, when you’re in different countries most of the time, only catching snippets of conversations between the little hours of the morning, but it’s something.

“…and I said to Chan that I don’t care if he dates but he keeps insisting that he’s not. I know he is I just can’t work out which member of Twice it is but I’ll get to the bottom of it before Jisung does. We have a bet on it.”

Seungmin snorts, burrowing down under his covers. His eyelids are drooping after a long day of recording but he wouldn’t miss this conversation for the world. Not that he would admit that to Changbin.

“Hey, you’re doing that thing again.”

“Hm?”

“That thing where I do all the talking and all you say is ‘hm’ and ‘yeah’.”

“Yeah?”

Changbin throws a pillow at the screen. “Are you kidding me right now?”

Seungmin sniggers. “I’m just comfortable, I told you.” And then in a more exaggerated tone. “I like your voice, hyung.”

Changbin splutters. “Kim Seungmin, I am going to get my revenge when we get back from the US.”

“You can try.”

Changbin narrows his eyes. “What kind of boyfriend are you?”

The word makes something hot unfurl in his gut. “The best kind, of course.”

“I don’t know, maybe I should have picked someone else. Hyunjin is pretty good looking. Do you think he would go out with me?”

“Changbin!” Seungmin whines, glaring at him.

Changbin throws his head back and laughs. “You deserve it, you monster.” But he caves quickly under Seungmin’s pout, smile softening until Seungmin’s insides squirm.

They bid each other goodnight and Seungmin falls asleep with the smile on his face, dreaming of Changbin.

*

**Top 10 Idol Mistakes On Stage**

_Thursday 30 January 2020_

**9\. **

The most recent of this list, watch the clip below to see Minho fall during Sixmix’s stage on Show Champion. At 2:12, during the stunt where he jumps over member I.N in the choreography, something goes wrong with his right foot and he falls over, pulling I.N with him to the ground. After this there’s not much the members can do to fix a disastrous performance. This is one to be remembered in times to come.

Comments [405]

**BlinksForLisa**

[+741] who even let such an ugly article be published

** yurilee305**

[+561] I’d like to see the author try to do these kinds of stunts after like no sleep and a ridiculous diet and see how they get on

**squirreljisungie**

[+57] lmao that minho one was so bad tho like even his members couldn’t save this performance

** UchaLala**

[+38] Are they even on JYP? Their lives are /terrible/.

*

After a busy couple of weeks of relentless promotions, Seungmin can tell that it’s starting to take a toll on the team. It starts with a mistake that Minho makes on one stage due to fatigue that gets singled out by management, leaving him quiet and sullen. Then Jeongin gets a bad cold, coughing and spluttering back stage. Worried, Seungmin bundles him up in blankets, plying him with medicine, and fussing over him as he cuddles up to Woojin on the couch.

“You’re going to end up catching it,” he says to Woojin who simply glances down at a sniffling Jeongin, pats his hair and smiles.

“So are you.”

Seungmin shrugs him off, claiming a good immune system. The next morning he curses himself when he wakes up sneezing, his body shivering despite his blankets. But the idol machine waits for no one, and he can hardly bow out of the night’s music performance just for a simple cold, so he swallows down painkillers and gets to work, ignoring his throbbing headache as he’s corralled through hair and make up. The circles are dark and swollen beneath his eyes and he’s tired, moving sluggishly. He doesn’t realise he’s fallen asleep until Hyunjin is shaking him awake, the crick in his neck protesting his movements.

“It’s sound check time. You sure you’re okay to perform?”

Seungmin grumbles, swatting him away as he scrapes himself off his chair. In truth none of his members look much better. A combination of running from music show to music show with a few detours to variety shows in between, a lack of sleep due to the late running of performances, and their comeback diets have worn them thin. Seungmin is looking forward to the rest period they’ve been promised, once the crux of their promotions are over. Imagining how it will feel to sleep in gets him through sound check and then there’s more sitting around until the performance. He feels dizzier by the second.

By the time they get up on stage he’s completely disorientated and the flashing stage lights exacerbate the feeling, until he’s a ship on a stormy sea, stumbling through his choreography. The music sounds so far away, drowned out by a high pitched whine in his ear. He feels too warm, burning up, the sweat dripping off him despite the lack of real effort that’s going into actually performing, all his focus directed on keeping himself upright. His knees are week and shaky, the crowd blurring around him. Lights flash in his eyes.

The last thing Seungmin catches is the worried look that Woojin shoots him before his vision blurs. Everything goes black and he hits the ground.

*

A bright white light disturbs him of his sleep and Seungmin groans, head heavy and his mouth dry. He doesn’t want to wake yet but voices disturb him and he realises with a sinking feeling that he’s in hospital, the doctor in a white coat running through what happened. Fainting due to dehydration. Confined to bed rest for the rest of the week. He tries to protest but his manager shakes his head with a stern look.

Later on the members are allowed to visit him and they pile in with a chorus of voices, competing over who gets to fuss over him, and he finds himself laughing, dizziness momentarily forgotten to the warm feeling he basks in with his members. They all look as tired as him, dark shadows plaguing their eyes, and he realises there’s a downside to success. The bigger the group grows, the more they get pushed by the company. They’re not used to this relentless schedule and he wonders briefly how his senior groups have managed years of life at this pace. He curses his weakness for letting the group down.

“We’ll see you when you get home,” Woojin says softly, ruffling his hair. There’s a crease between his brows, betraying his worry. “Rest up, Seungminnie. We’ve got it from here.”

Seungmin manages a weary nod, grateful to his group for understanding. For not blaming him.

It’s not until he gets home that he’s able to check his phone. He has four missed calls, all from Changbin. Biting his lip, he secrets himself in the hall, the rest of the members having long gone to bed, and calls him back. Each ring makes him more and more nervous, to the point where he’s almost given up when the voice comes through. He’s unprepared for the, “Seungmin?” that’s rasped into his ear.

“Changbin,” he murmurs, exhaustion ploughing into him. Sliding down the wall, he rests his head against it and closes his eyes.

“Seungmin, are you okay? Are you still in the hospital? I tried to get management to let me see you but they said you were resting.”

“I’m at home. I just got back.”

“At this hour? They should have kept you overnight and let you go home in the morning.”

Seungmin smiles despite himself. “Changbin, I’m fine. It’s just dehydration. I’m not going to waste a hospital bed when there’s nothing wrong.”

“Nothing wrong?” He hears Changbin suck in a breath and shivers. “You shouldn’t be fainting on stage! That’s not okay.”

“I know. It’s my fault. I got a cold and thought I could power through it and I’ve only made myself worse.” He sniffs and wipes his nose. “Really. I’ve been given a week off to rest up. I’ll be fine.”

“Seungmin, I was so worried. When I saw the news…”

It makes his toes curl with warmth, exhaling out some of the tension weighing down his shoulders. “Aw, I didn’t know you cared so much about me, hyung.”

Changbin splutters and Seungmin laughs, feeling better than he has in days. He hasn’t seen Changbin for a few weeks now, not since he returned from the US, and his heart pangs with longing. Even just hearing his voice is enough to quell some of that ache.

“I just don’t want to see you hurt,” Changbin confesses quietly.

Seungmin tightens his grip on the phone. It’s hard sometimes, with Changbin. They barely have time to meet up and their conversations are often riddled with teasing and sarcasm, so he can’t always tell what Changbin feels. Knowing he cares as much as Seungmin does – that he was so worried about him – it makes him feel light. He almost feels guilty at the thought. That he’s enjoying something that obviously brought Changbin fear and pain.

“You know, my schedule has suddenly opened up this week.”

“Are you implying something, Seungminnie?” Changbin’s voice is a little breathy.

“Hm. I might be able to pencil you in. If you wanted to make an appointment.”

“Do you know what? I just might.”

*

**Sixmix’s Seungmin to Miss Music Bank Special Stage**

_Monday 3 February 2020_

After fainting at a performance on Inkigayo on Sunday, JYP have issued a statement to say that Seungmin of Sixmix will be missing from promotions from this week, including their special stage for Music Bank. The vocalist will be missing due to health reasons after he was taken to hospital yesterday evening.

While the statement claims that there is nothing serious going on, others have speculated that the group have been pushed too much since their first win last year. Check the video below to see Seungmin faint on stage.

Comments [99]

**Sixmixdefencesquad**

[+148] it’s really gross that the video is being circulated for clicks like that :/

**Seung-Seung-00**

[+57] I really hope he’s ok this is so upsetting for all the boys. Woojin’s face when he realised was awful.

**kawasama**

[+12] idols faint all the time this ain’t news

*

Seungmin feels guilty when he hears his members leave in the early hours of the morning but it’s quickly forgotten to his muffled head and he’s asleep again in moments, exhausted from the cold and the dehydration. The next time he awakens light is streaming in through the crack in the blinds and there’s someone knocking on the door. His phone buzzes and he rolls over with a groan, nearly tumbling out of his bed. The glow of his screen reveals a text.

**Changbin**

[10:09] I’m here.

Seungmin does fall as he attempts to untangle himself from his covers, padding barefoot to the door in his hoodie, sniffling as the cold air hits him. Even though he’s the one who invited him over, he’s not quite prepared to face Changbin at his door, looking up to reveal his face under his hat, and a shopping bag dangling from his fingers. His silver earring winks in the sunlight and he grins broadly when he sees him.

“Wow, you look terrible.”

Seungmin tries to scowl but is interrupted by a sneeze that seizes his entire body. He hits Changbin on the shoulder as he pushes past him into the Sixmix dorm. “I should give you my germs, you jerk.”

Changbin lifts the carrier bag in his hand. “This jerk brought you noodle soup. Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

“I had to get up to let you in,” he grumbles, flopping onto a chair in the kitchen as Changbin busies himself with heating up the soup. Soon the kitchen is filled with the warm smell of herbs and spices, his stomach grumbling. He hasn’t been able to stomach much food in the past few days but he finds himself starving all of a sudden.

“Seriously, Seungmin,” says Changbin over his shoulder. “Go to bed. I can bring it through.”

“I’m tired of lying in bed. I’m sick, not an invalid.”

Changbin looks him up and down sceptically and then laughs when he pouts. Leaning over the table, he pinches his cheek, ignoring Seungmin’s feeble attempts to bat him away. “Cute.”

“You’re picking on the weak here.”

“Mm,” Changbin agrees. “I am.” He ladles soup into a bowl and hands it over to him, steam wafting from the rich broth with noodles and pieces of chicken.

Inhaling the smell, Seungmin picks up a chicken leg and attacks it, savouring the way the meat melts in his mouth. With his other hand he scoops up the broth that compliments the flavours perfectly, just enough spice to make his nose run. He barely notices Changbin standing there and watching him, too consumed with how good it feels to be able to eat without it making him feel ill, the warmth of the soup seeping into his core and easing some of the ache in his bones.

“You know, I always imagined you to be a delicate eater.”

Seungmin looks up, dropping a piece of bone with a splash. “I haven’t eaten properly in days. Delicacy left the building when I caught Jeongin’s cold.”

The floor squeaks as Changbin slides out a chair and sits down. “Do I have a reason to be jealous? Do I need to fight this Jeongin for your honour?”

Seungmin wrinkles his nose. “Jeongin is our maknae. He’s like my little baby brother. And he could probably take you.”

Scoffing, Changbin shrugs off his jacket so he can flex his considerable biceps. Seungmin feels a flicker of desire in the pit of his belly that registers over the haze blocking his senses but chooses to ignore it. Right now he’s sticky and gross and he doesn’t want to pass on his germs to Changbin but he can’t help but be annoyed that the one time he gets his boyfriend alone he’s too ill to do anything about it.

“I’ve been working out. I’m pretty strong.”

“Jeongin is scrappy. He’d probably claw your eyes out.”

Changbin looks perturbed. “Don’t get on his bad side. Got it. Anything else I should know, for when your members realise I’m dating their vocalist?”

Seungmin taps his chin, pretending to think, when a cough startles him, rattling up from his chest. By the time he’s got his breathing back in control, Changbin is learning over him and looking worried. “I’m fine, hyung,” he says. “I feel much better after having your soup.”

Changbin smiles. “I picked it up from my favourite place. Anytime one of my members are ill, we agree that we’ll get that person their hero’s soup.”

“That’s cute. Who knew 3racha were so cute?”

Changbin crosses his arms. “I’ll have you know we’re plenty cute.”

Seungmin laughs, eyes beginning to droop. Now that he’s eaten he’s starting to feel sleepy again but he doesn’t want to waste a single moment with Changbin, even as he starts to slump over the table.

“You look tired. You should go to bed.”

“I’m not leaving until you tell me all about America.”

“How about I do you one better?” Rising up and wrapping his arms around him, Changbin hauls him up to his feeble protests. “Let’s get you into bed and then I’ll tell you about how Jisung got us kicked out this really pricey restaurant in LA.”

“No, really?” he says, turning soft and pliant in Changbin’s arms. If he were feeling better he might have lingered more on the hands holding his waist, or how easily Changbin piles him into his arms, but as it is he’s still fuzzy, content to be bundled back beneath his blankets despite his arguments. As Changbin leans back he grabs hold of his jacket and hauls him, catching him by surprise so that he falls onto the bed, with both hands on either side of his head.

Stunned, Changbin peers into his eyes with his mouth open and Seungmin stares back, admiring the intense dark eyes and the jut of his collarbones peeking from his tank top, fingers curling into his blankets. Suddenly Changbin rocks back, cheeks flushed, but Seungmin stops him with a hand on his thigh.

“Stay? Please. I promise I won’t sneeze on you.”

Changbin huffs but he stretches out beside him, throwing a casual arm over his waist. Seungmin lets his eyes fall closed, lids too heavy to hold up. “You’re not off the hook, you know. Tell me the story.”

Changbin’s laugh rumbles through him pleasantly. He falls asleep warm and sated as Changbin tells him the story, fingers sweeping through his hair like the gentle caress of waves against the seashore.

*

Seungmin is lying in bed scrolling through his laptop when the call comes. Checking to make sure Hyunjin is asleep he thumbs to answer and smiles as Changbin’s face appears, dimly lit and also in bed if the pillows behind his head are any indication. The phone light casts his skin in a blueish glow, highlighting the angles of his cheekbones, and his earphones disappear beyond the screen.

“Hi,” he says, sitting up.

“Hey,” says Changbin. “I just saw your _Fancy_ cover.”

“Yeah?” His heart skips a beat. “Felix was thrilled we got asked to do that. He loves Twice.”

“Mm. I bet you would have preferred to do Day6.”

He laughs. “Maybe, yeah. But it was fun. I enjoyed it.”

“Me too.”

Seungmin flushes at that, ducking his head. Through the phone he hears Changbin’s rich, throaty laugh. “Cute. You really suited that concept.”

“Of course. I suit every concept.”

Changbin’s grin softens. “No comment.”

“Hey!”

“I think I’d need to hear it again to decide. Why don’t you sing it for me?”

If Seungmin was blushing before his cheeks must be firetruck red now. With another glance at Hyunjin, he shakes his head. “My members are here. I don’t want to wake them.”

“_Aaah_, so responsible, Seungminnie. I’m going to hold you to it, though.” Changbin waggles his finger at the screen.

Seungmin rustles the covers next to his speaker. “Hold me to what? Sorry, you’re breaking up. I can’t hear you, hyung.”

“Yah, you brat!”

Seungmin laughs and soon Changbin is joining him, his eyes shining in the light of his phone. It’s becoming a habit, that Changbin will find some excuse to call him late at night and the two will chat aimlessly for hours, just basking in one another’s presence in a way that they can’t when they’re both busy with promotions. Right now 3racha are in the midst of comeback promotions and 6mix are touring in Japan.

There’s a voice yelling in the background and Seungmin picks out the voice as Jisung, bemoaning his lack of sleep. Changbin sighs. “I miss you, Seungminnie.”

Seungmin blinks away tired eyes. “Miss you too.”

They’re both reluctant to end the conversation but he knows he needs sleep when he’s got concert after concert lined up for the next month. But it keeps him going, knowing that he can always come back to his hotel to hear Changbin’s voice and see his smile. For the first time in his life, Seungmin thinks he might just be in love.

*

It’s in the bathroom one night as he’s brushing his teeth that Seungmin remembers Changbin’s request. After scrolling through his Instagram to find a selfie of Changbin at the gym, the bulge of his biceps highlighted by the backlighting nearly making him choke on his toothbrush, he decides he should get his revenge. Letting Felix into the bathroom, he pads into his bedroom and smiles when he finds it empty.

He tries calling but Changbin doesn’t pick up, probably still at the gym or maybe on his way home, so he switches to his camera and selects the video recording. Suddenly nervous, he clears his throat, steals a glance at the door, and then hits record. For once in his life he’s actually glad he’s familiar with aegyeo, letting it drip into his words as he sings, “_You there, I fancy you. I don’t just want anyone. Hey! I love you._” As he sings he dances along to the choreography, having memorised it for Sixmix’s special stage.

Recording the chorus, he hits send and fires it off to Changbin, chuckling to himself as he imagines Changbin opening it when he sees the notification on his phone. It’ll give him a surprise at the very least and that’s reason enough, dropping his phone on the dresser and tucking himself into bed.

Hyunjin ducks his head around the door. “Did I just hear you singing?”

“Me?” Seungmin looks around the room even though he’s the only one in it and points to himself. “Me, singing? I think you’re hearing things.”

Hyunjin narrows his eyes but says no more, grumbling to himself.

Seungmin falls asleep that night with a smile on his lips, imagining Changbin’s reaction in his mind as he drifts off.

*

He awakens to seven messages, all from the same person.

**Changbin**

[00:01] Seungmin

[00:02] did you really just

[00:04] I know I said you should but I didn’t think you would actually

[02:37] SEUNGMIN!!

[02:51] answer me you monster

[02:54] Seungmin I’m having a heart attack here why would you do this

[09:22] this is revenge for that gym selfie isn’t it

After having a good snigger to himself, Seungmin gets up and makes himself breakfast, content to let Changbin stew for a while. Eventually he grows impatient of checking his phone, finding a quiet spot in the hallway to call him. It’s still early and Sixmix were performing late the night before so no one is up yet but he still likes the illusion of privacy, leaning against the wall.

A groggy voice answers him with a, “_Mmph?_”

“You can’t still be suffering from one silly video, can you?”

Changbin makes a choked noise. “Seungmin? Is that you?”

“Who else would it be, hyung?”

“I preferred when you were quiet.”

“Aw, but I recorded that specially for you. Did you not like it?” he says, some aegyeo making its way into his voice again. If his old self could see him now he’d probably be disgusted.

As it is, he’s delighted by the spluttering noises Changbin makes through the line, followed by, “It’s too early for this! I got home from the gym late last night and I only saw your damn video when I put my phone on charge. I didn’t get much sleep.”

“Excited?”

“_Yah!_”

Seungmin erupts into laughter, shoulders shaking as his back hits the wall.

“You know, you’re really quite evil. Other people might be fooled by that sweet angelic face but I’m not.”

“It’ll have to stay a secret between us then.”

Changbin snorts. “Mm. I think I like being the one who gets to see this side of you.”

Seungmin feels a flush rise to his cheeks. “I’m hanging up now.”

“Aw, come on. Don’t be like that now.”

“I’m gonna do it!”

“You won’t.”

*

**Sixmix’s Seungmin in Dating Scandal**

_Tuesday 24 March 2020_

Netizens did some sleuthing after a video of Sixmix’s Kim Seungmin singing Twice’s _Fancy_ was leaked. The video depicts the vocalist singing in a cute voice on his bed, leading netizens to believe the intended recipient of the video was his girlfriend, as yet unconfirmed. JYP have yet to release a statement but fans have been crying out to have the video removed from circulation as it infringes on the idol’s privacy. Others are demanding he should be dropped from the group for contravening the group’s dating ban.

Check out the video below. What do you think? Do you believe Seungmin intended for this video to go to a girlfriend?

Comments [162]

**Pepi-janna**

[+130] u don’t sing a song like that if it’s not ur girlfriend lol

** 6mix6boys**

[+64] idk they’re like that all the time? I wouldn’t be surprised if he was sending that to woojin lol

**sixmixdefencesquad**

[+91] this is gross please remove the link you’re infringing on his privacy by showing that regardless of who it was intended for

**bambambam**

[+34] He’s only a rookie? Jihyo I understand but why would he jeopardise his career with something like this? Sixmix are hardly Twice level.

**Ffrddgyh**

[+29] i hope they drop him

*

Seungmin doesn’t know what it means when he walks into living room after filming for a new variety show to see all five of his members gathered on the couches but he knows it can’t be anything good. Freezing when all pairs of eyes swivel to him, he drops his bag at his feet and stares back, frustrated by the silence that grows heavier by the second.

“What is it?”

Woojin clears his throat, glancing at the rest of the members. “Um, Seungmin, have the managers been in contact with you lately?”

He shakes his head, blood running cold. “What? What’s going on?”

“Come join us,” says Hyunjin, patting the space between him and Felix. “We need to ask you something.”

“So ask me,” he says, moving to stand behind the couch because he’s stubborn like that. “Just tell me what’s happening.”

“Um, well,” begins Felix hesitantly. He looks at Woojin, who nods his support. Minho is silent, staring at the floor. “We wanted to hear it from you first, before the media blows it out of proportion.”

Fear burrows deep into him. “Hear what? What have I done?”

Jeongin turns to face him. “Hyung, who are you dating?”

Seungmin’s eyebrows shoot to his hairline. He feels like a bucket of ice cold water has been tipped over him. “What?”

Jeongin holds up his phone. “Saesangs hacked your phone and found your video. Do you have a girlfriend, hyung? You know you could have told us.”

His phone suddenly burns a hole in his pocket and he feels the urge to rip it out and throw it out the window. Stomach roiling, he’s nauseous with the thought of his privacy being violated like that. Not just that. Changbin. His career could be in jeopardy if it has come out that they’re dating. He can feel the blood drain from his face but he forces himself to calm down. To think it out rationally. None of his members seem to know who he’s dating yet.

Collapsing into the space between Hyunjin and Felix, Seungmin brings his knees up to his chest, focusing on steadying his breathing. He’s not going to lose his composure here. “I… am dating, I guess.” As all his members shift, all trying to speak over him, he holds up a hand and silence falls again. “I didn’t say anything because it’s so new, and because he’s an idol so it could be dangerous for him too.”

Just like that he rips off the plaster and lets them sort through his words between them. Minho is staring at him with wide eyes, mouth hanging open, and Seungmin stares back. He’s not going to be ashamed. Not here, not now. Not in front of his members.

“You know we’re not mad, right?” says Woojin, leaning forward to take a hand in his. “This isn’t about accusing you. We just need to know how best we can protect you here.”

Seungmin sucks in a breath, eyes prickling. Relief trickles through him at the understanding in Woojin’s eyes. “I know. It’s not that I didn’t trust you, it’s just…”

“You don’t need to tell us.”

Seungmin shakes his head. “Just promise you won’t say anything. It might come out anyway but I need to protect him if I can.”

They all nod and he sees the gravity in their eyes, even in those of the shell-shocked Minho.

“It’s Changbin.”

Felix claps his hands together. “I knew something weird was going on there!”

Hyunjin pinches him. “You thought they hated each other until I convinced you otherwise.”

Woojin sighs. “This isn’t helping him, you know.”

“Sorry!” they both chorus sheepishly. In truth Seungmin is glad for the normality.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen,” says Seungmin. “I just wanted to apologise for not saying anything. I should have been more careful –” he hiccups, a tear threatening to spill “– and this could affect all of you, too.”

“Stop it.”

They all turn to look at Minho, his brows furrowed together. “Do you like Changbin?”

Seungmin tenses, unsure where he’s going with this. “Yes,” he breathes. “I do.”

“Then that’s what matters. You shouldn’t have to hide who you are just because you’re an idol, Seungmin. None of us should.” As he speaks, the Sixmix members begin to nod along with him. “Dating isn’t a crime and we’re not going to punish you for it. Heck, most of us have dated at some point. None of us are in any place to judge you.”

Seungmin wipes a tear that slips past his defences and just like that he ends up squished in a cuddle pile with his members, all of them cooing him and patting him on the hair. He can’t breathe properly under their collective weight, his arm bent in an awkward position under Jeongin, but their enthusiasm cheers him up regardless. He feels warm, knowing his members will stand by him. Mostly, he feels like this isn’t the end for him and that means more than he can possibly put to words.

*

**Seungmin Missing from Promotions after Dating Scandal**

_Wednesday 1 April 2020_

Fans were quick to notice that Sixmix’s Seungmin has been absent from promotions this week after a video was leaked that pointed to him having a girlfriend. While some fans were questioning the timing of the lead vocalist sitting out promotions this week, a spokesperson at JYP commented that he was taking the time to recover from an injury.

Comments [78]

**yuhanna96**

[+89] the timing is sus i’m pretty sure this is a punishment

**sixmixdefencesquad**

[+64] we don’t know that he’s actually dating anyone

**Yugyeom-fan-00**

[+44] They don’t even need him tbh.

*

Of course, Seungmin doesn’t escape getting chewed out by his manager, but after being forced to sit out of promotions for a week until the rumours die down, a few white lies on his part and some finger wagging from company officials, the matter gets dropped. To his utter relief it seems that whoever hacked his phone never found out who he sent the video to, going quiet in the face of a police fine for the data breach, and so the secret remains between himself and his members.

Two weeks after the incident, when the heat has died down a little more and he no longer feels terrified at the prospect of checking the group’s Twitter, he finds that there’s still radio silence from Changbin. Sure, he got a new phone, if only to make himself feel slightly more secure, but he texted Changbin his number as soon as he got it. The wriggling worms in his stomach have transformed into dragons. Now Seungmin is pissed. Changbin doesn’t get to shut him out like that just because he’s afraid. Seungmin has spent days in his room, terrified, and now he’s tired of feeling nothing but relentless anxiety.

Seungmin knows that the members of 3racha moved out of their dorm last year and bought a larger apartment together in a secure part of the city where many celebrities live. Woojin drives him there, stealing worried glances as they sit in silence, the radio playing Twice’s latest release at a low volume. Seungmin watches the lights of the city streak past him through the window, trying to piece together the exact sentences he wants to say. He’s not going to come away with more regrets.

“Seungmin,” begins Woojin, looking uncertain. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been through a lot lately. It’s understandable if you need more time.”

“I don’t need more time, hyung,” he says. “What I need is for everything to go back to normal.”

“Okay. Call me if you need anything.”

Seungmin nods, climbing out of the passenger side. “Thank you. Really.”

Woojin smiles, ruffling his hair. “You know you’re my family.”

Seungmin swats him away but there’s no heat in it, his smile fond. Then he’s stepping up to rap repeatedly on the door, each knock getting louder and more frustrated until finally the door opens.

“Who is it?” mumbles a sleepy eyed Chan, squinting at him from under a bed of white blond curls.

“Oh,” says Seungmin, taking a step back. “I was just…”

A hand latches around his wrist and yanks him into the gloom of the 3racha apartment, crumpled pieces of paper littering the floor. “Writing lyrics,” Chan says as way of explanation, guiding him to the kitchen where he sits on a stool. “You must be looking for Changbin.”

Seungmin freezes. “Uh. Yeah. What do you know?”

Chan smiles, a soft, fleeting thing. “I know he’s gone for you, dude.”

“He has a funny way of showing it. He hasn’t spoken to me since, well, you know…” Seungmin waves his hand.

“He probably thinks he’s protecting you. He can be weirdly self-sacrificing sometimes.” Chan scratches his stomach, still looking tired. Seungmin feels a little guilty for disturbing him but only a little.

“Listen, he’ll be at the company. He’s working on a song that’s been driving him crazy. I suggest you guys go talk whatever is going on between you out. It’s not good to leave things to stew, you know? You can’t guess where each other’s heads are at if you don’t actually talk it through.”

“I…” After a moment of hesitation he realises Chan is right. This is what he needs. They need to talk it out, if they’re to get anywhere. Even if it’s just to end things, and his stomach quivers at the thought, then he at least needs the proper closure. Seungmin shoots to his feet, ignoring the satisfied smile on Chan’s face. “I need to go.”

“Yeah, you do.”

“Thanks, Chan.”

“Anytime.”

A subway ride later, his hat shading his eyes and a face mask obscuring his mouth and nose, Seungmin stomps into the JYP company building, feeling even pricklier than when he set off. By now he’s ready to throttle him, temperature burning just shy of furious. He takes the lifts up to the producing floor, knowing which of the tiny little producing booths Changbin likes to hole away in when he’s rabbiting away at a project.

The corridor is empty, not a soul to be seen at this time of night. It’s almost like a scene from a horror movie, his steps ringing out as he marches along with nothing but some dim overhead lighting to guide his way, and they lengthen his shadow out in front of him. By the time he reaches the door he’s looking for the exhaustion crashes into him and he pauses outside, considering just turning and going home.

Seungmin knocks the door. Instead of waiting for an answer that might never come if Changbin has his headphones on, he enters into the small box of a room loaded high with various mixing equipment for producing beats, a mic hovering just above the seat on which a dark head sits, turned away from him. Sure enough, headphones are blaring music loud enough that even Seungmin can hear it.

Irritated, he grabs the headphones and yanks them off. Changbin yelps, stumbling right over backwards onto the floor. He’s scrambling around with another yell when his eyes land on Seungmin and he freezes, a hand on his chest. “Fucking hell, Seungmin. A little warning, maybe?” Then, seeing his expression, he quietens. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself. Where have you been?”

Changbin winces. “I was working on some songs for new album. 3racha are having a comeback soon.”

Seungmin crosses his arms. “So, what, you haven’t seen the news?”

“I did.” Changbin picks himself off the floor and drops back onto his stool, pinching the bridge of his nose. Dark circles plague his eyes and his hair is sticking up all over the place. He looks like hell. “Of course I did.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I thought you wanted space.”

Seungmin’s eyes bug. Before he can begin whatever tirade is about to bubble out of him, Changbin continues with a forlorn expression. “I know. I know I should have called. Or messaged. Or come to see you. Honestly, Seungmin, I’ve been staring at my phone for days. But you never messaged either and then I thought you wanted to break up and I don’t blame you but I just didn’t want to hear it.” He looks up, guilt in his eyes. “It’s fine. It’s honestly fine. I just needed time to prepare myself, I think.”

There’s a long pause where they stare at each other expectantly. Then Seungmin arches a brow. “Seo Changbin, you are a fucking idiot.”

Changbin blinks.

“I’m not going to break up with you. Or at least I wasn’t until you ditched me after the dating scandal dropped.”

Changbin’s mouth falls open. “Wait. You weren’t?”

Seungmin sighs. “No? I mean, I was worried at first because there’s more than just you and me at stake but whoever hacked me doesn’t actually have anything and it’s not like anyone’s going to expect us since we’re both guys.” At the glimmer of hope he sees in Changbin’s eyes, he shakes his head, fighting a smile. He feels like for the first time in days he can finally draw breath.

“Fuck them, Changbin. They don’t get to decide who I see and who I don’t. If they hate me dating that much, they’re not really my fans, are they?”

The look in Changbin’s eyes is hard to describe but Seungmin can only compare it to a man seeing the sun after a year in darkness and it sends a strange thrill shuddering down his spine. He steps forward at the same time that Changbin stands and he levels Changbin with a look.

“I don’t want to break up. Do you?”

“No,” says Changbin, taking another step until there’s barely space between them. “No, I don’t want to break up. Let’s – let’s not do that.”

“Good,” says Seungmin, and then he kisses him. Grabbing the back of his head, he pushes up into Changbin, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss. Warm hands snake across his shoulders, a thumb flicking over his collarbone. Changbin’s lips are chapped, rough against his, but he doesn’t care, shoving him forward until he stumbles and collapses in his chair, Changbin’s strong arms wrapping around him and catching him before the pair of them go tumbling to the ground.

“I knew I had to beware the nice ones, huh?” says Changbin, between kisses, touching their noses.

Seungmin grins. “I never said I was nice.” And then they’re kissing again, his hands kneading Changbin’s hair as he straddles his waist. Changbin breaks it to kiss and bite his way up Seungmin’s throat and he arches it to give him access, eyes closing in bliss. He’s forgotten where he is or what he’s supposed to be doing, consumed with finally being in the same place as his boyfriend, figuratively and literally.

“I think maybe we should take his elsewhere,” says Changbin, nibbling on his earlobe. “I don’t think I’m getting anymore work done tonight.”

Seungmin cracks open an eye. “I sure hope not.” He grinds his hips down to emphasise his point and Changbin’s hands tighten their grip on his waist, his mouth parted in a gasp.

Then suddenly he’s standing, hoisting Seungmin up into his arms despite his kicks and protests. “_Shh. _I’m taking you home.”

“I don’t know. I’m still annoyed with you.”

But then Changbin leans in, breathing in his ear, “Let me make it up to you?” The shiver hurtles through him and he drops to his feet in shock, cheeks flushing. Shoving Changbin when he snickers at his reaction, the two of them spill out into the hallway with their shoulders brushing, stealing furtive glances at one another.

Seungmin is done listening to the media. He’s going to live his life on his own terms, scandal be damned.

*

**Old Rivalry Reignited?**

_Friday 22 May 2020_

With the release of Changbin’s solo featuring Sixmix’s Seungmin last year, it had seemed that the feud between 3racha and Sixmix was beginning to simmer down. However, fans were quick to draw the line again when it was announced last night that both groups were nominated for the same award. Hashtags have been trending on Twitter, with fans on both sides urging fans of other groups to vote for their bias group.

click to read more

Comments [132]

**ThreeRachaRocks**

[+193] I’m sorry but lets not even pretend that after all our boys have been through to get recognised that some got7 clone can come in with a mainstream pop song and get that award. Who writes their own lyrics? Their own music? Who puts their heart and soul into their music? 3racha, that’s who.

** JYPnationsupreme**

[+88] because sixmix are not worthy if they don’t get a few producing credits? smh

**penguinmina<3**

[+67] here we go again sighhh

*

Sunlight streaming in through the curtains stirs Seungmin from a dream about filming a survival show that determines whether he gets to debut or not, his fear growing as more members of his team get eliminated. The stress takes a moment to subside and it’s only when he rolls over and sees Changbin sprawled out on his stomach that he realises it was just a dream. Smiling, he admires the way the light traces the muscled lines of his arms and back, honed from hours of hard work in the gym and the endless dance practice that accompanies being an idol.

“You’re staring.” Changbin grumbles, voice rough with sleep. Tilting his head, he gazes at Seungmin through heavy lidded eyes.

“Mm. Maybe I was. What are you going to do about it?”

The covers rustle as Changbin twists, leaning on his arm. “Maybe I’ll stare right back.”

“Don’t do that. That’s creepy.”

Changbin snorts, shifting again until he’s leaning over Seungmin, breath fanning over his face and making him flush. “If it makes you squirm maybe I’ll just do it more.” Then he’s pressing open mouthed kisses to his cheeks, his nose, his jaw, his neck.

Seungmin kicks out, playfully protesting. His blood thrums beneath his skin, warm from the sunlight cutting across the bed and the affection shared between them. “I’m not doing anything until you make me breakfast.”

With a few more sloppy kisses, Changbin pulls back and slides off the bed, the muscles of his back rippling as he shrugs on a T shirt. “So demanding.”

Seungmin grins, taking a moment to just lie back in the warmth of Changbin’s bed before he gets up, pulling on Changbin’s shirt from the floor. Chan and Jisung are both out, so he’s relaxed as he pads out to the kitchen, enjoying the way Changbin’s eyes catch on him in his shirt and linger.

They’re sitting to breakfast, the warm aroma of coffee wafting from their steaming mugs, when Changbin looks up from his phone with a wince. “Looks like we’re rivals again.”

Seungmin blinks. “What?” he mumbles between bites of his food.

Changbin flashes the news article, depicting a picture of Chan and Woojin with a thick black line down the middle. The headline reads: _Old rivalry reignited?_ Scoffing, Seungmin grabs his phone, skimming it to see that their groups have been nominated for the same award.

“Best digital single, huh?” he says with a smile, putting down the phone so he can finish his eggs.

“Our fandoms are fighting again. They’ve got some choice names for you.”

“Mm,” Seungmin agrees. “They’ve decided that I’m latching onto you to make myself more famous now.”

Changbin studies him, the line of his shoulders relaxing once he sees Seungmin isn’t upset. “Let me guess, fuck them?”

“Fuck them,” he agrees.

“_Or,_” says Changbin, expression turning playful, “you could make good on your promise.”

Seungmin pauses with his coffee halfway to his mouth, heat flooding his cheeks. “I could be persuaded.”

Changbin rises from his seat and hauls him out of his chair He’s a little ashamed by how much he enjoys the way Changbin can just pick him up and carry him but he makes no protest as they return to the bedroom.

*

**3racha Win Best Digital Single**

_Sunday 14 June 2020_

Last night’s Summer Music Awards saw old JYP rivals 3racha and Sixmix face off for the best digital song. After much fanfare between both groups’ fandoms on social media on the weeks leading up to the event, it was announced that 3racha were the winners of the trophy, pictured below, sparking outcry from Sixmix fans who are calling the results into question.

3racha leader Chan said he was, “delighted to have won such a prestigious award” and profusely thanked all the fans who voted for him in a revealing speech that detailed some of the group’s hardships in their early debut days. Click here to watch Chan’s speech.

Comments [281]

**ThreeRachaRocks**

[+333] As it should be. Chan’s shocked face when he won was everything.

** Iloveleeknow**

[+214] ‘as it should be’ lmao everyone works hard are you trying to say sixmix shouldn’t have won

**hanjisung01**

[+78] all those 6mix hoes mad as if one single is the same as all the self-produced albums 3racha have consistently been putting out

**Iloveleeknow**

[+54] the award is for best digital SINGLE...

**BangChan99**

[+102] aw chan crying!! you deserve it all <33

**kpopismylife**

[+87] watch the fans riot now lol

**00uwu00**

[+68] idk this figures look suspicious to me

*

“Oh no. Hell no.” Hyunjin shakes his head, jutting out his lip.

“It’s not that bad, is it?” says Jeongin. “I mean, we’re not enemies anymore.”

“Some of us are definitely not enemies anymore,” says Felix, waggling his brows at Seungmin, who lunges out at him, but he skitters away laughing.

“I don’t think it’s a bad thing,” says Woojin, crossing his arms as he leans back on the sofa. They’re gathered in the living room, having just found out the news that they’re going to be doing a special collaboration stage with 3racha for the JYP nation concert. “It makes sense. Got7 and Day6. Twice and Itzy.”

“Sixmix and 3racha,” adds Minho. “Yeah, I guess it works.”

“Besides, I’m pretty sure JYP wants to show that we all get along now, after all the drama we’ve been through,” says Seungmin.

“Of course you’re happy. You get to perform with your boyfriend.”

Seungmin cuddles up to Hyunjin, patting him on the knee. “I know you don’t like this but I promise it will be a good thing. I think we need to put the drama behind us if we want to move on as our own group and not just ‘the other JYP group’.”

Hyunjin sighs. “I just can’t get over what they said before. Am I being petty?”

“No. I get it. I do. I’m not telling you you have to like them, or that you have to be friends with Jisung. Just think of this as something that will help our group’s reputation.”

He can tell Hyunjin isn’t thrilled but he finally concedes to the idea.

Which is how Seungmin finds himself in a practice room with his members on one side of the room and 3racha on the other. Jisung steals a glance at Minho and then looks away just as Minho turns to look at him, Jisung crossing the room towards Seungmin. “Now we get to perform together. This is going to be fun.”

“Yeah,” he says non-committally. “Lot’s of fun.”

The air is still awkward. Still tense. It doesn’t look like it’s going to get any less tense either, as Hyunjin and Minho, both having picked up the choreography quickly from their dance trainer, guide the other members through the routine. Already there are differences between them, some grasping the moves quickly and others taking longer.

The worst of it is that Seungmin feels obligated to stick with his members, not wanting to draw attention to his relationship with Changbin when tensions are still high. So he keeps his head down and works through the burn in his muscles, sweat soaking his shirt and his breath heaving. He can’t deny how hard the members of 3racha work, not even pausing for breaks, and it seems to spur something in the Sixmix members, the two sides of the room competing to see who can go the hardest.

Seungmin rolls his eyes, relieved when the session is finally over, the tension seeping out of the room as soon as the door opens. He lingers with his bag, adjusting the straps to waste time until Changbin reaches him, nodding at him silently. Ignoring the lingering looks from his members and the eyebrow waggle from Jisung, he leaves shoulder to shoulder with Changbin.

“That was awkward.”

Changbin grimaces. “Give them time. They’ll get over it.”

Seungmin sighs. “I hope so. I really do.”

*

After a two more training sessions of awkward silence and an incident where Hyunjin and Jisung clash during the choreography because they haven’t they got the formation down, Seungmin finally snaps.

“You’re supposed to go right,” says Hyunjin.

“No, you’re supposed to turn this way,” says Jisung.

“That’s not what I showed you. You swap with Woojin here.”

“That is _not_ what you said.”

“Enough!”

All heads in the room snap to him and Seungmin fixes them all with his best glare. “I’ve had enough of this. If the two of you can’t sort out your squabbles, at least manage to be civil. We have a stage to put on in two weeks. In front of a live audience. We’ll be an embarrassment if we can’t even look at one another, never mind put out a complete performance. Have we not all had enough of hating on one another?”

Silence reigns for far longer than he likes, everyone staring at their feet or looking away. His fists are clenched tight at his sides and he’s fuming. This is such a good opportunity for both groups, not only to get more recognition, but to demonstrate that the rumours about their feud are baseless. Except that doesn’t appear to be true, Hyunjin crossing the room and disappearing out the door. With an apologetic wave, Woojin runs after him. Jisung’s shoulders are hunched and he ducks into the corner of the room, shrugging off Chan.

Chan turns to Seungmin, a determined look in his eyes. “You’re right. This has gone on too long.”

Seungmin nods, unclenching his jaw. Changbin hovers at his side, looking between them.

“I want us to be able to work together,” says Chan. “I want us to make this stage something that people talk about for days afterwards. But more than that, I want us – all nine of us – to be friends.”

“Yeah,” agrees Changbin. “I think it’s time we lay down our swords and face the public. Let them know this is nothing but the media stirring us up.”

Chan nods. “I have an idea. We don’t have much time but… do you think we could all meet here tomorrow?”

There’s a few tentative nods, everyone looking between one another in confusion.

Chan is already on his way to the door. “I’ll explain all in the morning. See you then!”

And with that, they all disperse for the night.

*

**JYP Announces Special Concert**

_Monday 27 July 2020_

Two hours ago JYP announced that the label would be holding a special concert next month that would feature their signature artists. While we have still to get confirmation on the line up, rumoured acts include groups Twice, Got7, Day6, 3racha, Sixmix and Itzy. Included in the announcement was the feature collaboration stages which were promised to be ‘an exciting spectacle between artists as a way to give back to the fans’.

Read the statement here.

Comments [276]

**dearestdubu**

[+322] aaahh imagine if we get itzy/twice together omg

** 77jiminPark**

[+253] seems pretty likely at this point

**dearestdubu**

[+170] twitzy rise!!

**Yuka1996**

[+289] The rumour is Twice & Itzy, Got7 & Day6, 3racha & Sixmix

** Bangchanbang**

[+207] 3racha & 6mix??? u must be JOKING

*

It turns out that Chan’s idea had been a song. The nine members of the two groups gather around him as he babbles with excitement, deep circles bruising his eyes and caffeine stains on his shirt, as he explains that he has been working on a song for a while but hadn’t found the necessary spark to complete it until now.

“Anyway, it’s called _District 9_.”

The siren starts and already Seungmin is captivated. From start to finish the song is relentless, his stomach lurching at how badass it sounds and he imagines what it would sound like, performed by all nine of them. Looking around the room, he sees similar expressions of awe mirrored on each of their faces and he knows. Amongst the boys he finds Changbin’s eye and smiles. This is it. This is how it’s supported to be.

“I thought we could all perform our signature songs and then cut to this at the end. What do you guys think?”

Even Chan seems surprised by such unanimous agreement amongst them, relief slumping his shoulders. “Oh, good. I’ve been up all night working on this.”

“You need to sleep,” says Woojin, patting him on the shoulder. “You really didn’t need to do this. But it’s good.”

“It’s really really good,” agrees Felix. “Like, whoa, can you imagine performing this song? It’s going to be crazy.”

“I already know what part I want to do,” says Jeongin.

“Me too,” agrees Jisung.

Seungmin surveys them all with satisfaction. Somehow, with one song, Chan has managed to unite them together. It’s fitting, he supposes, that the thread of commonality between them be music. It’s a passion they all share, everyone of them, and if they have a song that belongs to all nine of them, then they each have a piece of themselves woven into it.

As Chan guides them through the recording, Seungmin thinks once again of an alternate reality he can almost taste, where the nine of them debuted together. Each of them brings something new to the song, building it up piece by piece until the full song is rich with the layers of their different voices. It’s something special. Something unique. A song that expresses each of them in their own way.

Minho scratches his head. “So this means we have less than two weeks to come up with new choreography and learn it for the stage.”

Chan nods from where he’s pitched over the desk. “Yeah, you do that. I’m just going to sleep now.”

“We can do it.” All heads turn to see Hyunjin tucked into the corner, an oddly defiant look on his face. “If it’s all nine of us we can do it.”

Jisung’s expression flickers before solidifying on a similar look. “Yeah. We’ve got this!”

“All right, we should get to work,” says Woojin. “Except for you, Chan.”

Chan’s already snoring, face pressed to his keyboard.

“I’ll get him to bed,” says Changbin, stealing a glance for Seungmin. “You guys start preparing. I’ll probably need a little extra help with the choreography anyway.”

And like that they get to work.

*

“Look, I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

Seungmin pauses at the corner of the hallway before it bends away towards the practice rooms, peering around the corner. He’s shocked to find Jisung and Hyunjin standing outside the door, both tense but openly facing one another.

“I know what we said before really hurt you. I didn’t know back then because I was stupid and immature but I saw some of your dance stages. Your awesome, Hyunjin. I can’t dance anything like that.”

Hyunjin ducks his head, a smile flickering across his face. “I guess you wouldn’t really have known why I was so mad, huh?” Almost to himself, he muses, “All I ever heard was how talented you guys were. How you produced your songs and wrote your lyrics. But for me, they basically told me my looks were enough and that I didn’t need talent. As if all my hard work just meant nothing.”

“I thought it would be different when we debuted but then it was just more of the same. Everyone was talking about we could never measure up to you three and it just felt like the final nail in the coffin when you said those things.”

Seungmin’s heart pangs. He’s heard this story, one night not long after debut when they spent from dusk to dawn talking themselves hoarse about everything in their dorm room. It had surprised him then, to learn that Hyunjin had insecurities as deep as his own, but now he knows better. There isn't anyone he knows who doesn't have doubts about themselves. But there's no one better than Hyunjin at using them as fuel to help himself grow.

Jisung rubs his neck. “I really am sorry, Hyunjin. I didn’t know. I didn’t even think, I just kind of thought you were being petty holding me to comments I made two years ago.”

Hyunjin nods. “Maybe I was, a little bit.”

“But I understand.” Jisung holds out a hand. “I’m hoping we can make it right?”

There’s no way anyone can resist Jisung when he’s using that tone of voice, and sure enough, after a long beat of simply staring, Hyunjin folds and accepts his hand. Hyunjin slips past him to enter the practice room and Seungmin sighs in relief. It’s a small start, but it’s something.

Thinking he’s probably safe to come out now, he only stops himself in time as Minho approaches, and he watches Jisung tense up even as he smiles brightly. Something about him really opens up when he’s around Minho and it’s sweet to witness, even if he feels slightly like a voyeur.

“Hi, hyung.”

“Hey, Jisung. Do you have a minute?”

“Oh. Oh – yeah.”

It’s not until they’re out of sight that Seungmin seizes his moment, skipping into the practice room before they can spot him lingering. Whatever is going down between Minho and Jisung is between them. He’s learned that much the hard way.

*

It’s amazing how quickly two weeks can pass. Suddenly Seungmin is backstage, the roar of the crowd rumbling through the walls as he takes a swig of water, watching a stylist wrestle with Chan’s obstinate curls. Minho and Jisung are playing some kind of game in the corner, Felix and Hyunjin are going over last minute choreography while Woojin attempts to stop Jeongin from running himself ragged before they even get out.

“We’re up next,” says a familiar voice and he turns to smile at Changbin, done up in black with a dark line of eyeliner to emphasise the intensity of his gaze. “Are you ready?”

Seungmin looks around at his eight members for this performance and nods. “Yeah. I think we’re ready for this.”

Changbin nods, sneakily taking his hand and lacing their fingers together. The door opens and the girls of Twice and Itzy pour out, giggling and chattering as they bound from the doors. They exchange bows, Nayeon throwing them a thumbs up, and Sana pausing to give Chan a quick hug, while Yuna shouts, “Good luck!”

Seungmin squeezes Changbin’s hand, nerves and excitement swirling together. “Nine or none, right?”

Changbin grins his fiercest grin; the one that makes butterflies erupt in his stomach.

“Let’s do this.”

*

The music vibrates through his chest as he sings, the choreography flowing through him as if he’s been practising it for years. Somehow it doesn’t feel unnatural to have eight members around him instead of five, like this is the way it should have been all along. Changbin finishes spitting his rap, a hand landing on his shoulder, and Seungmin grins as they leap into the chorus, Chan’s voice ringing out over the cheering crowd.

All he can see are bright lights, all he can hear is his pounding heartbeat, and all he can feel is pure adrenaline. Jisung’s voice is so clear as he belts out a note, transitioning seamlessly into Hyunjin leading the dance break. It’s been so much hard work to get them here – so much grit and sweat and fighting and tears – but now that they’re under the shining lights of the stage it pours out of them easily.

There’s something fated about it; the open sky rippling with thousands of winking stars and the shining beads of blue lights that cut across the midnight darkness. Seungmin finishes the song with Felix’s deep voice in his hear, chest heaving as he attempts to catch his breath. He straightens out of their formation as the crowd erupts before them, a rolling carpet of lightsticks, and then he’s meeting the eyes of those around them.

It feels like there’s an electric current running across his skin, hairs standing on end. Each one of the boys on stage feel like they belong up there with him, smiles exchanged from one to another down the line. Together they greet the crowd and for one perfect, spine-tingling moment this is Seungmin’s debut song, performed with the eight boys of his group.

The moment shatters as Chan and Woojin takes turns to introduce them but it’s a pleasant ache. Like a magnets, he and Changbin gravitate towards one another until they’re standing shoulder to shoulder, unable to stop stealing small glances at each other. Seungmin can’t suppress his grin, beaming from ear to ear. Maybe there are other realities out there. Ones where he can Changbin meet earlier and grow through their training together. Ones where 3racha and Sixmix are nine stray kids who form a group together.

But somehow, despite everything, here they are. They’ve found one another and that’s all that matters.

Changbin leans over to murmur in his ear, “You look incredible.”

Seungmin nudges him playfully and he laughs.

From the rabble of the screaming crowed he swears he hears the chant, “Nine or none! Nine or none! Nine or none!”

Nine or none.

*

**District 9 Performance Goes Viral**

_Tuesday 11 August 2020_

A HD fancam of the JYP special concert depicting the performance of the original song _District 9_ for the collaboration stage between groups 3racha and Sixmix is gaining traction on Youtube and Naver after it was uploaded last night. Despite the notorious feud between fans of both groups, the song’s lyrics focus on the unity between the nine members across 3racha and Sixmix. Fans have been trending the tag #9ornone on Twitter in response, with many applauding the steps taken by both groups to address rumours of resentment between the boys. Watch the video here.

3racha’s Changbin and Sixmix’s Seungmin, who met and became friends on the survival show _Eighteen_ last year, were captured hugging in celebration, leading fans to believe that any feud between the groups has long been put to rest.

JYP has confirmed the song will be released as a single and even hinted at a potential music video. Given how successful the collaboration stage has been, could this open the door for some new JYP units or is this simply wishful thinking on our part? We certainly know that we’re all over this new development.

Comments [466]

**sixmixdefencesquad**

[+549] k I was there and it was ELECTRIC like omg and everyone was shouting nine or none over and over I got CHILLS I’m so proud of all the boys

** Oppacollector**

[+371] i’ve been obsessively stalking all the cams on twitter lol who knew chan and woojin were that close

**LixBok00**

[+214] I need a studio version of Distrct 9 like Right Now. It’s sooo good! I’m pretty sure I’m responsible for half the views on that fancam lol.

**Binbiniee**

[+211] idek 6mix really but wow this was good almost makes we wish we had a full 9 member group haha

**Seungsunshine :]**

[+209] new conspiracy theory: seungmin was dating changbin all along

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for all the lovely comments on this fic! :)
> 
> This was an idea that sort of grew arms and legs and ran away from me, ha ha, but it was fun to really delve into idol life and all the shit they go through getting scrutinised over every little thing. But I wanted to show Seungmin's growth as he gradually realises there's more to life and so he starts ignoring all the comments. I also wanted to show that there's a lot more going on behind the scenes that people don't know about because they are human after all and we only see one tiny part of it. I almost feel like Sixmix is a real group now Stray Kids who lmao...
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy part 2! <3


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